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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2011/08/19

Instant nothing

From a step mother to nothing. I wrote a while back to get some advise on taking on my boyfriends daughter (7) after her mother passed away in a car accident. Everything was going great, we got her inrolled in a school to start next week, she is on my medical aid, we have her at the shrink. Tuesday we had her mom''s funeral and she seemed to take it well. Last night the aunt came to take her away with the social worker, as the mom told her boyfriend that if something happens to her, the daughter must stay by her sister. That is the main reason, and then they came up with all ckinds of crap in the court order about my partner. I know it is crap because I pulled the same stunt when my daughters father tried to take her when we moved to the Cape. Luckely my story had a happy ending. My boyfriend is her legal guardian and she has his surname. We have a home and started to become a very close family. Now all that is gone. Please if anybody out there has advie on how to hanle this issue because my little girl is hurting, first no mother, and now no father to comfort her. We need to get her back so her life can start again. Please I beg of yu any any legal, shrink advise wil be so very much appreciated. Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I think the welfare / social workers would need to pay attention if the mother left explicit instructions in her properly written and witnessed will, but should not automatically assume the accuracy of claims that are essentially hearsay. And of course they should have checked what alternatives there were and what other arrangements may have been made.

And the bio-father has definite rights. If there are allegations against him, they have to be properly examined in court, and again, not just assumed to be true, especially if coming from someone who wants something out of it themselves.

Especially if the bio-dad is the legal guardian.

I don't see how an aunt's claims can be assumed to trump those of the biological father.

You need good legal advice ASAP, and check with the local Family Advocate's office too.

Phil seems to be reacting to somethin from his own history, more than to your situation.

Thank heaven nobody else is as "caring" as "solution" who seems to be intent on showing off in a cruel and negative way. If he/she keeps this up, they can be identified and blocked from participating in this forum.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/20

I think the welfare / social workers would need to pay attention if the mother left explicit instructions in her properly written and witnessed will, but should not automatically assume the accuracy of claims that are essentially hearsay. And of course they should have checked what alternatives there were and what other arrangements may have been made.

And the bio-father has definite rights. If there are allegations against him, they have to be properly examined in court, and again, not just assumed to be true, especially if coming from someone who wants something out of it themselves.

Especially if the bio-dad is the legal guardian.

I don't see how an aunt's claims can be assumed to trump those of the biological father.

You need good legal advice ASAP, and check with the local Family Advocate's office too.

Phil seems to be reacting to somethin from his own history, more than to your situation.

Thank heaven nobody else is as "caring" as "solution" who seems to be intent on showing off in a cruel and negative way. If he/she keeps this up, they can be identified and blocked from participating in this forum.

<br/>

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/08/19

You should not be wasting time on this forum but obtaining seious legal advice asap. The first hour with a lawyer is usually free. Get to a lawyer fast!

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Phil | 2011/08/19

Well Anne  you must be one of them too. Fine when you pull a dirty one  but not so fine when you on the receiving end.... Some people really make me laugh, would never say adults could think like this...

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Anne | 2011/08/19

Confused, do not take to heart others expressing their anger at their own situations on you. Only you know your situation and it is not for anyone to judge you. Just do what you have to do, in the best intetrest of the child.

Reply to Anne
Posted by: Confused | 2011/08/19

Phil, let me tell you something, it is a happy ending because I was young and dumb, I have grown up and realised how important my childs father is to her. They see each other whenever he can. We didn''t end up in a court battle, instead we talked it out, and we are happy my daughter has parents that are friends.

Reply to Confused
Posted by: Phil | 2011/08/19

Confused  may that be a lesson. When you were doing teh same evil things it was fine. Now that the wheel has turned and you are on the receiving end, now you ask advice? And you even called your stunt a happy ending? Lady  whenever a parent is so corrupt that they remove their kids so far away from the other parent for their own evil purposes. It ISN''T CALLED a happy ending for the child!

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Anne | 2011/08/19

Your husband should see a very good family attorney asap. I dont know the financial circumstances, but, if it were me, I would move heaven and earth to fight this. I dont know the legalities, but, surely, the mom cant just give verbal instruction through the boyfriend, and surely allegations first need to be proved before the child is just taken away.

Fight I tell you. Fight for your child.

Also post this on the divorce support group. There is a guy called FIO who is very clued up who would be give you a point of departure as I think he works for the FA

Reply to Anne

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