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Question
Posted by: aline | 2009/12/16

insecure on top

hey im 20 years old, i have problems being on top and . The problem is i dont know how i don' t know how to move because i do experience some pleasure but i really doesn' t increase during sex as we go along. So i really dont know how to get the best out of it and also i dont know when my partner is ready because i havent gone through the same trip'  as him ):
It used to hurt and it doesnt anymore, but now all i get is a kind of good feeling like i can feel the physical touch, but it doesnt get bigger. And i don' t even know when i am going to come or if i have ever done that. The same happens when i receive oral sex. I know it sounds a little ridiculous but the feeling doesnt really grow stronger and i feel stupid and i am worried.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear aline,

It sounds as you are still young and inexperienced in your sexual development. Firstly you need to know that in the beginning, as you are learning and discovering sexual activities and sexual positions not to initially experience the full potential of pleasures that are possible, as you are still unsure, nervous and anxious and this will initially affect your level of sensations.

Another important fact you need to learn is that for a woman, the most essential area that needs stimulation to increase levels of pleasure to the point of orgasm is your clitoris. In most sexual positions, including woman on top, the woman can and does experience pleasure, yet because there limited stimulation of your clitoris at the same time, the degree of pleasure is limited. If you or your partner also stimulated your clitoris during woman on top sex, using his or your fingers, you will increase your pleasure.

During oral sex also. iF partner orally stimulates your vaginal lips and vaginal opening you will experience some pleasure, yet should he focus the oral pleasure on or around your clitoris, you will notice increased pleasure.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: aline | 2009/12/16

sorry i think id explain it a little.
I am quite delicate and pale and stuff and when having sex i am ususally the one that gets adored' ' . I enjoy it that way but the reason beneath is that i feel incapable of adoring, touching the other person, like possesing or making his body mine, i can' t, i dont know how to do it I feel weak. I think im doing everything wrong and get really awkward and embarrased though i try to hide it and fake i just like to be admired. When im not playing hard to get or anything is just that i feel so ridiculous and small and inexpirienced and cant guarantee my partners pleasure by me doing things. I have no clue of what i have to do but as i said i always try to go along and respond, but then i ask for feedback is like i mentally breakdown, i feel suddenly SO fragile and in control of a situation that i really CANT manage.
I am really worried about this since i think it is going to make me loose the one i love.

Reply to aline
Posted by: Sexologist | 2009/12/16

Dear aline,

It sounds as you are still young and inexperienced in your sexual development. Firstly you need to know that in the beginning, as you are learning and discovering sexual activities and sexual positions not to initially experience the full potential of pleasures that are possible, as you are still unsure, nervous and anxious and this will initially affect your level of sensations.

Another important fact you need to learn is that for a woman, the most essential area that needs stimulation to increase levels of pleasure to the point of orgasm is your clitoris. In most sexual positions, including woman on top, the woman can and does experience pleasure, yet because there limited stimulation of your clitoris at the same time, the degree of pleasure is limited. If you or your partner also stimulated your clitoris during woman on top sex, using his or your fingers, you will increase your pleasure.

During oral sex also. iF partner orally stimulates your vaginal lips and vaginal opening you will experience some pleasure, yet should he focus the oral pleasure on or around your clitoris, you will notice increased pleasure.

Reply to Sexologist

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