Our expert says:
Its usually very far from them considering themselves to be perfect, but, feeling insecure and very imperfect, that they insist on pretending that they are perfect, not wanting to even face the possibility that they are not, and not wanting to acknowledge any sort of weakness to anyone else.
Its not so much a need to be perfect, but a need not to feel imperfect. We can't assume that when they shut us out that they have no feelings, only that they are choosing to display no feelings.
They'll probably not want to hear whatever you're saying,especially if it in any way hints at being critical. Maybe, if one is sympathetic ( which is different from being approving ) and asks and listens more than tells, one could help them ; asking about the nature of the difficulties they're facing a the time, what options they think they have, whether any form of assistance would help.
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