Posted by: Visitor | 2010-12-13

innocent conversation blown out of proportion (sp)

Pursuant my routine visit to a gynae about two months ago, my husband and I were having a conversation re: women opting for C-section instead of giving birth the natural way.

He says that women go this route to keep their VGs intact. Saying we argued about this is putting it mildly, I mean it got out of hand we ended up insulting each other (Maybe I took this too personal) I told him that giving birth the natural way has got nothing to do with the size of the VG, because other than having sex, that''s what it''s designed for, but soon after giving birth it goes back to it''s original form (not virginity of course).

I gave birth to my two kids the natural way so I never heard him complaining about my VG size. We have a good sex life, but since the conversation I tend not to enjoy sex, in fact I don''t allow myself to. I just let him have his way while I can''t wait for him to finish so he can get off of me, which makes it very sore for me because I''m dry and I refuse kissing him during sex, because I don''t want to want him, if you know what I mean. I don''t respond positively to foreplay, instead I get irritated by him touching me.

Sometimes I ask him stupid questions, like, what goes on in his mind when making love to me, does he fake enjoying it, or does he wish I was a virgin, am I too big for him, what do I rate at a scale of 1-10 comparing with his exes, etc.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Your relationship is threatened by the recent disagreement that you have had . you have to revisit the processes that you have used as a couple to resolve disputes and whether there are further underlying issues that have entered into this disagreement which have not been resolved .if you cannot quickly get yourself into a position of relooking at your situation i suggest you as a couple seek professional help

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Our users say:
Posted by: M | 2010-12-13

I think that there is a change to vagina once giving birth naturally - it has been in my case. I had two very fast labours and birth, so it could be that?? BUT once you have babies many things change with your body, stretch marks, wider hips, saggier boobs - its just one of those things - I dont know how these movie stars have babies and still end up with the same figure. Dont get me wrong, I m not saying that you have to let your body go after having kids - it just that things change and you have to accept it. I weigh the same as I did pre-babies, but am a size bigger in clothing as my hips are wider now, and sadly yes my vg isnt quite as pretty as it used to be :-)

Reply to M
Posted by: ANON | 2010-12-13


Reply to ANON
Posted by: Jack | 2010-12-13

Woman, my lady suggested I be circed and we are both so happy.

Reply to Jack
Posted by: Zee | 2010-12-13

Womens use their VG as a weapon. No wonder 80% of the time it backfires on them. lol

Reply to Zee
Posted by: Woman | 2010-12-13

Yes, Jack, I know that some women have severe disadvantages after normal birth. I know that some women suffer throughout theirs lives due problems with birth.

However, this is just a %, it is not a guarantee that something terrible will or will not happen during the birth. I know many couples who have fulfilling sex lives after the birth of one or more children. Women who do yoga and who do kegels *will* be in better shape down there.

And, I am merely giving the other side of the debate here, Jack. I chose 3 c-sections. Personally, I did not make the choice to give birth naturally. The point is, a woman gets to make her own choices regarding these things. You might not like it, but you have to respect it. Because that''s the way it happens when there''s marriage vows involved. How would you feel if your wife told you preferred you circumcised, or not..? Ego, vanity... all the same thing.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Jack | 2010-12-13

Woman, it does not go back to normal. Especially after two episiotomies(spel). And don''t tell me kegel excercises work either.

Reply to Jack
Posted by: XXX | 2010-12-13

Well put " Woman"  but unfortunately most women use it as a weapon.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Woman | 2010-12-13

You won''t have sex with your husband because of an argument? Come on, it''s the festive season! forgive &  forget. Surely it''s not *such* a big thing that you''d actually put your marriage at risk? Because that''s precisely what you''re doing by doping what you''re doing.

Sex should never be used as a weapon or a means to an end. That cheapens your marriage vows.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: HUH | 2010-12-13

Visitor, men are petty things trust me i know im a man. But if wasnt happy with my wifes VG i would tell her and find another VG.

Reply to HUH

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