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Question
Posted by: Mosa | 2010/01/06

InLove with another man

I needmajor help, I feel like I' m faling apart right now. I' m unhppily married and theres a guy who have been giving me so much attention that I enjoyed and couldn' t say no to. After I told my husband that I want separation and I want time out to think about whether I still want to b in his marriage or not I sneaked out and went to meet the guy. I' ve never in my life thought I will do that while I' m married. I went to his house and we talked kissed and had sex...everyhing was just so overwhelmingly good. He seem to be the guy I' ve always fantasized abt. I connected with this guy more that I connect with my husband. The connection btn us was so powerful. Ever since then t' s so difficult to sleep with my husband. Now I so much want to be with that guy...i' m so stressed right now I don' t know what to do. I am going to separate from my husband but I don' t know if this guy willl be available for me. Cause now after we did that Im constantly thinking abt him and I told him how I feel and how being intimate with him affected me. This week he has disappeared from my life, no calls no sms I guess he gt what he wanted and his done. Unfortunately I feell strongly abt this man it' s not even funny. I' ve decided to stay away from him too, no more calls and sms from me to him, but the feelings r still there.
How do I deal with such feelings, I need major help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Recognize that when you are unhappy in your marriage, you will be very vulnerable to being attracted by, and exploited by, other men. Rather try hard to fix whats wrong within the marriage with the aid of a marriage counsellor.
Dont make the big mistake of assumin g that the exciting affair and sex would remain like that if you left your husband and married the new guy.
He may seem to be the guy you have always fantasized about because he is actually still largely a fantasy, and not yet real. As you say - once he got what he wanted, he disappeared and no longer cared about what you wanted. Was that part of your fantasy ?
See a counsllor, first of all opn your own, and then consider with the counsellor whether you could usefully heal your marriage if you worked with your husband in counselling

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: really??? | 2010/01/07

I am hoping you are not my sil, oh gosh!

Reply to really???
Posted by: D | 2010/01/07

Divorce your poor husband as you have already cheated on him. Not fair to him. Let him carry on with his life.

Reply to D
Posted by: TRUTH | 2010/01/07

1. That strong feeling is called LUST.

2. What morrals does a man have that does not respect anothers marriage?

3. Anything build on someone elses pain, or a marriage bound infront of GOD is most porpably doomed before it starts.

Wake up, and smell the roses. Ask for forgiveness. If you want out, divorce before you you do what you are doing right now. Unfortunately the wheel of life will turn, and one day the shoe will be on your foot. You reep what you sow

Reply to TRUTH
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/06

Recognize that when you are unhappy in your marriage, you will be very vulnerable to being attracted by, and exploited by, other men. Rather try hard to fix whats wrong within the marriage with the aid of a marriage counsellor.
Dont make the big mistake of assumin g that the exciting affair and sex would remain like that if you left your husband and married the new guy.
He may seem to be the guy you have always fantasized about because he is actually still largely a fantasy, and not yet real. As you say - once he got what he wanted, he disappeared and no longer cared about what you wanted. Was that part of your fantasy ?
See a counsllor, first of all opn your own, and then consider with the counsellor whether you could usefully heal your marriage if you worked with your husband in counselling

Reply to cybershrink

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