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Question
Posted by: Karne | 2011/05/16

Infidelity

Hello. Please could you give me some advice. I''m married to a wonderful man who I love dearly. He''s given me no reason not to trust him at all. But I''ve become so worried and stressed that he''s going to cheat on me one day or leave me. With all the articles in the papers about men cheating on their wives and the super injunctions, it''s made me paranoid and scared. Do all men cheat on their wives? I''ve been driving myself insane with this and I don''t want it to interfere with my/our lives. I find I even get upset every time a good looking woman comes on to the telly. I know I''m not unattractive, but I can''t help worrying.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is very like the neighbouring message, from the person worried about the End of the World next week - it's a genuine worry about something which isn't happening. Of couurse not all men cheat on their wives, just as not all wives cheat on their husbands. Some people do. So you read articles about cheating- you also read about earthquakes and tsunamis, but they're not going to happen to you either.
Usually, this sort of exaggerated concern lies not in any actual risk that your husband will cheat, but in your own lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, and seeing a good counsellor / psychologist for some CBT style counselling working on these issues, will help you to appreciate yourself and realize that you would not have married anyone so idiotic as to think of cheating on someone as nice as you are.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: James | 2011/05/17

I can ask the same question of you - do all women cheat? Having actually been through this I can confirm that its not a good experience to have.

Of course not all women cheat, neither do all men so be wary about generalising. If there is no reason for for you to be concerned other than what you have read then your fears are unfounded and could lead to stress in your relationship with your husband. Rather focus on the present and relish your relationship than jeopardise it on unfounded fears.

Reply to James
Posted by: Karne | 2011/05/16

Thanks Cybershrink. I will try and bear this in mind. I am aware of how ridiculous it all is! Thank you.

Reply to Karne
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/16

This is very like the neighbouring message, from the person worried about the End of the World next week - it's a genuine worry about something which isn't happening. Of couurse not all men cheat on their wives, just as not all wives cheat on their husbands. Some people do. So you read articles about cheating- you also read about earthquakes and tsunamis, but they're not going to happen to you either.
Usually, this sort of exaggerated concern lies not in any actual risk that your husband will cheat, but in your own lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, and seeing a good counsellor / psychologist for some CBT style counselling working on these issues, will help you to appreciate yourself and realize that you would not have married anyone so idiotic as to think of cheating on someone as nice as you are.

Reply to cybershrink

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