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Question
Posted by: nicky | 2011/10/21

inferiority complex

hi CS

Im not sure what my problem is. I am a 44 attractive woman who used 2 have alot of self confidence and social skills. However, i been working only on and off 4 six months within bout 2 and a half years. I had a nervous breakdown this year in May, and suffered compressed fractures on my verterbrae in the interim and the ward witnessed 2 seizures when i was hospitalised.

I have had financial stress, living off friends, had a divorce last year. I was married for bout 2 years only. I dont have the means 2 seek professional help with CBT and state hospitals, as u know, one has a long waiting list of bout 6 mnths 2 seek help. I been very depressed not being able 2 find wrk and stressed out having to pack bags all time 2 move 2 constantly move 2 othr friends. Its been tiring.

Would all this have had a major emotional impact on my self confidence and lack of social skills, and not being able 2 find work etc? I never used 2 feel anxious going 4 job interviews but im suffering from such a low self esteem and inferiority complex especially to people with a tertiary education. Ive only become aware of this recently as i was always charming, witty, funny... Whats going on with me CS?

I was never threatened by people with a higher education but now, yes. Ive also los my social skills especially at intrviews for jobs and losin alota jobs due to my shyness and anxiousness and i cant afford this, its killing me... I jus cant sell myself like i used to and thats depressing me completely and i desperately need a job...

Do i qualify much due to my long wrking experience? What is causing my sudden complex an low self esteem.

Anothr underlyin factor is the fact that my phone has been hacked into and my emails thats caused me stress...

Please help...

Thank u 4 yr time CS

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi nicky,
Some people have abundant self-confidence, even when others can't imagine why ; and others of us, with so many reasons to feel proud and sure of ourselves, lack such self-esteem. And others, starting out with appropriate and good self-confidence, find this severely challenged and damaged by deeply discouraging life experiences, as you have encountered.
You were and still are witty, charming and smart, even if you find it harder to tap into those parts of yourself. And from my experience of people with tertiary education, most of them are limited and unimpressive people with perhaps more self-esteem than they merit. But with the experiences you have been through, you are lacking practice in the social skills and affirming experiences you were used to.
And now, apparently, other distressing experiences.
Its disgraceful, of course, if there was anything like a 6-month waiting period for psych services at any state hospital - any hospital that has such waiting periods to deal with urgently painful conditions should be ashamed of itself and penalized for not meeting their constitutional obligations. And I wish that such long-term psych problems were recognized as deserving affirmative action as regards employment of the disabled. But that's another area where our givernment's fine promises have not yet been matched by actual effective action.
I don't think there's any mystery as to why you have been feeling discouraged ( a good word, that - one is, literally dis-couraged, having the courage removed ). This issue is more how to build more encouraging circumstances and situations, and finding ways to get some of the support you deserve. Check with your best local state services in hospital , maybe your nearest medical schooland push for proper help. And try lifeline and the Anxiety/Depression support group ( number on this page ) as their group meetings might help, and maybe they can also help you to find state services before too long

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/21

Hi nicky,
Some people have abundant self-confidence, even when others can't imagine why ; and others of us, with so many reasons to feel proud and sure of ourselves, lack such self-esteem. And others, starting out with appropriate and good self-confidence, find this severely challenged and damaged by deeply discouraging life experiences, as you have encountered.
You were and still are witty, charming and smart, even if you find it harder to tap into those parts of yourself. And from my experience of people with tertiary education, most of them are limited and unimpressive people with perhaps more self-esteem than they merit. But with the experiences you have been through, you are lacking practice in the social skills and affirming experiences you were used to.
And now, apparently, other distressing experiences.
Its disgraceful, of course, if there was anything like a 6-month waiting period for psych services at any state hospital - any hospital that has such waiting periods to deal with urgently painful conditions should be ashamed of itself and penalized for not meeting their constitutional obligations. And I wish that such long-term psych problems were recognized as deserving affirmative action as regards employment of the disabled. But that's another area where our givernment's fine promises have not yet been matched by actual effective action.
I don't think there's any mystery as to why you have been feeling discouraged ( a good word, that - one is, literally dis-couraged, having the courage removed ). This issue is more how to build more encouraging circumstances and situations, and finding ways to get some of the support you deserve. Check with your best local state services in hospital , maybe your nearest medical schooland push for proper help. And try lifeline and the Anxiety/Depression support group ( number on this page ) as their group meetings might help, and maybe they can also help you to find state services before too long

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