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Question
Posted by: anon | 2010/01/09

infedelity

I have, for all my life, had many sexual encounters with women and men. My wife did not know. She did find out though and we discussed my sexuality and infedelity. She cannot accept that I want more than one sexual partner and that I enjoy sex with men too. It is always safe sex. I do not want to stop this activity either. If I find a woman beautiful and the feeling is mutual, I have sex with her, same goes for men. It is sex, not love. My wife is not interested in joining us. She does not want an open marriage. I can understand this. She does not want to divrce me and we do love each other. What do you suggest?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

your wife has a right not to partake in such activities. additionally, your sexual interests may be hard to understand for your wife.

the best advice that i can give you is for the two of you to mutually agree to the terms of your marriage and sexual activities. the terms of which need to be based on open-communication, respect for eachother as well as positive approaches to the relationship and sexual activities. in negotiating these terms, it may require a sexologist to assist both of you in communicating, negotiating and defining the exact parameters of the marriage / sexual relations.

please consult our helpline for a sexologist in your area: 0860 100 262

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2010/01/11

Thank you for the advice and suggestions. I agree with all you have said.
It is appreciated.
Best Regards
Anon

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/01/10

your wife has a right not to partake in such activities. additionally, your sexual interests may be hard to understand for your wife.

the best advice that i can give you is for the two of you to mutually agree to the terms of your marriage and sexual activities. the terms of which need to be based on open-communication, respect for eachother as well as positive approaches to the relationship and sexual activities. in negotiating these terms, it may require a sexologist to assist both of you in communicating, negotiating and defining the exact parameters of the marriage / sexual relations.

please consult our helpline for a sexologist in your area: 0860 100 262

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: anon | 2010/01/09

I have mentioned to her that she deserves to be happy with someone of the same mindset and it would be only fair to her that she finds the happiness she deserves but she still won' t divorce me.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Lee | 2010/01/09

I think that it is inconsiderate of you. It is actually immoral as well, for the mere fact that you are married. I am speaking from the Bible' s point of view, clean up your act and respect your wife and children if you have any. Extra-marital affairs and adultery is the work of the flesh and its sinful. I would suggest that you find help because you have a problem. Until you admit that, you will realise why your wife willn' t accept your behaviour. Divorce is not an option but you might be pushing your marriage towards separation. If you think about your wife she deserve someone who will respect and appreciate her. I think since you are married you have not been honoring your marriage vows.

Reply to Lee

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