Posted by: 2 | 2009-04-02


Men. Women. Relationships.
I have trouble believing that it means anything: relationships, committed relationships, marriage.
I was married. was cheated on (join the worldwide club). was dumped for another chic he was sleeping with. and even when I was married, the guys from our married couple friends would occassionally hit on me: some of them seriously so.
Then got divorced and still: married or not, same thing. And you see it everywhere. People are just sleeping with each other with zero regard for their partners.
It' s almost like the twilight zone. So when I go to a wedding I' m almost chuckling inside at how ridiculous the whole " show"  is... because inevitably one of them, or both, are going to be intimate with someone else.
So I got into a new relationship after my divorce, but he doesn' t want a committment which is super cool with me ' cos obviously I don' t either (and I think it really is a joke anyway, this ' committment'  thing) but now when I get hit on by other people I sometimes respond, call their bluff and wham... join the worldwide club. But I don' t feel guilty. I don' t feel bad (obviously I' m extremely careful in terms of protection - like that makes it any better, cheating is cheating). And I know he' s still in contact with a lot of his ex' s and chic friends he met at swinger' s clubs and things like that and I did find a condom in his drawer the other night and all I could genuinely think was: well at least he s being safe.
I don' t get jealous when I hear about his other chic friends, when he flirts with other girls, or anything.
Is the era of supposedly " committed"  relationships over?
And do we evolve and accept the obvious and stop getting married and thereby stop making divorce lawyers even necessary (then lawyers can use their time better to prosecute criminals and not " innocent"  humans who are simply over a phase of " pretending to love someone so much that mankind will keep their dicks in their pants forever more and be intimate with only one person for the rest of their natural lives...)
food for thought...
and now I' m gonna go take up yet another married man on his offer before I head home in the traffic to my mostly unavailable " fiend with benefits" .
It' s a joke people. And his wife is at home with his kids and he' s gonna give her big fat kiss when he gets home... and hug his children, meanwhile having visions of everything BUT his happy wedding day.
I think I' m gonna go puke first.

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Our expert says:
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Whoa makes sense. Do you really believe that you will fel better for making others feel bad ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Happily Married | 2009-04-03

Dear 2,
I have been with my husband for the past 24 years and neither of us has ever had the need to cheat. We are both extremely satisfied in our relationship and therefore do not need to wander.
I felt really sad for you when I read your posting. Try not to let the bad past relationship you have had make you bitter and change who you were. I believe in karma - what goes around comes around - just be careful when it comes around!!

Reply to Happily Married
Posted by: Old School | 2009-04-03

I' ve been around for a while so I have seen the changes in morals and ethics all over the world. I attribute the general and I say general lack of both, to the desperate situation we find ourselves in today with war, financial problems and the urge to earn more and have more. We have no real values. We are shallow and self centered.

I don' t say that its not in the family' s best interests to have Mommy with a degree, persuing a career and earing a big salary, but that comes at a price, no matter what ' quality time"  is spent with the kids or how many au pair' s are employed, the old system of Mom at home bringing up the kids with good old fashioned concepts of right and wrong, respect for fellow human beings and respect for themselves cannot be bettered.

Sadly we don' t have this anymore. Cheating, dishonesty in all forms, corruption and general moral decline have put us on this slippery slope. Kids are brought up in this environment and they see this as being smart and the way to go and so the cycle continues. I' m never surprised at what I see going on about me. Sad but true !

Reply to Old School
Posted by: Wow | 2009-04-02

Hey I understand where you are coming from 2, its easy to just throw ones hands in the air and say I give up - thats what those men you have come into contact with have done after all

But there are a few good ones who still believe in being committed and who dont take the easy way out - there are some who understand that relationships take work and they do that work.

Its really not fair to put them all in that same box - everyone flirts now and then - especially men - its in their nature - but thats pretty harmless. Not everyone actually ends up taking it all the way and actually cheats.

Im sorry you have had a bad run - we have all been there, but like I said there are some of us out there who havent just given up. If we all threw our hands up like you did we would be living in a society that does not care about being faithful.

Heres to all the beleivers!

Reply to Wow
Posted by: Whoa | 2009-04-02

You know what it felt like being cheated on... why do this to someone els... the saying if you can' t beat them join them DOES NOT APLLY in this instance... why would you sell your self short, doing wrong because wrong was done on to you, still stays WRONG.... think of the wife and kids involved in your litlle " I DON' T CARE"  game because I feel nothing.... remorse is a feeling that catches up with you when you least expect it.. So enjoy your puking, it will come back to you!

Reply to Whoa

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