Our expert says:
Its so important when receiving such requests from people inviting themselves to stay with you, to be specific, from the start, as to WHY they are coming, WHAT they will do while here, and how long they will stay.
If they arive for a visit with no duration agreed, and no purpose clear, they could stay forever.
Indeed it sounds as though this guy is taking advantage of you both, and making no effort whatever to find a job - maybe this is also why the university is no longer concerned about him.
As he obviously doesn't care at all about YOUR feelings, don't be so scared of hurting his. Have a calm sit-down disussion, the three of you, and explain that this arrangement cannot continue this way, that your bf cannot aford to continue to support him indefinitely, especially as he is making no genuine effort to get a job and a place of his own. Suggest a 2-week maximum length for his further stay, by which time he needs to either find a job and a place of his own, or move back home.
That is kind and reasonable. Otherwise you are encouraging him to become a lazy, sponging layabout ( literally !) which is not to his benefit either.
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