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Question
Posted by: mom | 2011/12/25

inappropriate sexual behaviour

My son is 8 yr old and been diagnosed with maybe PDD/NOS, AS or high functioning austism....also anxiety dysorder...he is on 10 mg Ciprelex and treated by a child psychiatrist. He resieves OT and ST. We had problems in the past with him watching porn...without our knowledge...so now all computers are blocked exct. But last night we discovered that he has been watching " how to have sex"  on his dads iPad....so now that''s also blocked. During the holiday I saw that he was ''roleplaying'' having sex from behind with his little brother, aged 4yr! Luckily fully clothed...I didn''t sense real sexual feeling, more roleplay, acting out what he must have seen....like he does with Star wars caracters exct. He had the exact sounds, facial expressions, all of it! I confronted him, but it really seems as if he doesn''t understand that this is inappropriate and not allowed. I''m worried about his little brother as well, because I heard the little one touching big ones privates and asking him if he likes it! Big one said, NO you are not allowed to touch me there.....Is this ''exploring'' natural for a boy his age(8yr)? Or is it part of the ASD? I''m worried one or both of them could/was molested? How must I deal with all this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Firstly, all experts were promised by the Forum manager, that ALL forums would be closed from December 23rd to January 4th, and I am appalled to discover that they have sloppilly been left open, which will mean that many questions, perhaps urgent ones, will go unanswered.
These are complex and at times even controversial diagnoses, so it would be the absolute duty of the child psychiatrist who assessed and diagnosed your son, to have explained it to you in detail, and to have made sure you understood.
Its unusual for a kid of 8 to get into watching porn, but I consider it essential for every parent to ensure that NO child under later teen years has open access to the internet without suitablwe Net Nanny type controls installed and working, and without the parent persoanally and regularly ( and at un-predicatable intervals ) checking the computer records of sites visited.
If you don't know how to do that, don't allow your child internet access until you have learned how to be in charge of the situation.
Similarly, an iPad shopuld not be left lying around for a child to use for internet access, especially when one knws he is clever and motivated enough to use it in this way.
All of this is not a part of ASD or any similar diagnosis, and can be norma, or excessive - have this situatiopn re-assessed by the child psychiatrist, who can discuss this tactfully with the lad and help him understand. Its useful also in that the possibility that he might have been exposed to sexual advanaces from others, even adults, can be considered in the assessment.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/27

Firstly, all experts were promised by the Forum manager, that ALL forums would be closed from December 23rd to January 4th, and I am appalled to discover that they have sloppilly been left open, which will mean that many questions, perhaps urgent ones, will go unanswered.
These are complex and at times even controversial diagnoses, so it would be the absolute duty of the child psychiatrist who assessed and diagnosed your son, to have explained it to you in detail, and to have made sure you understood.
Its unusual for a kid of 8 to get into watching porn, but I consider it essential for every parent to ensure that NO child under later teen years has open access to the internet without suitablwe Net Nanny type controls installed and working, and without the parent persoanally and regularly ( and at un-predicatable intervals ) checking the computer records of sites visited.
If you don't know how to do that, don't allow your child internet access until you have learned how to be in charge of the situation.
Similarly, an iPad shopuld not be left lying around for a child to use for internet access, especially when one knws he is clever and motivated enough to use it in this way.
All of this is not a part of ASD or any similar diagnosis, and can be norma, or excessive - have this situatiopn re-assessed by the child psychiatrist, who can discuss this tactfully with the lad and help him understand. Its useful also in that the possibility that he might have been exposed to sexual advanaces from others, even adults, can be considered in the assessment.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2011/12/25

It sounds as if you are handling it in the best possible way. It''s natural for him to want to know more, especially as he has seen porn. Explaining the mechanics of sex is a very small part of educating our children about it - transmitting our values around it are much more important.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: mom | 2011/12/25

I did talk gently to my son.....what he says makes sense. He says that he really just want to know more about sex.....and that''s all. He said he feels to embarres to ask us. So I''m going to read a book with him, show him pictures and get age appropriate info to share with him....He looked relieved and relaxed after our talk.

Reply to mom

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