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Question
Posted by: Sucker for punishment | 2012/04/05

In too deep, how to save myself?

I''ve been involved with a woman for three or so months. I''ve fallen hopelessly in love with her. But my problem is this: She''s constantly asking me for money for things (she just started a job yesterday after being unemployed for a while). I can understand the money for groceries, etc. but I''ve noticed she''s asking for more " obscure"  things, i.e. creche, to help with her brother''s rent, etc. I got this suspicion that she''s not being completely honest all the time. I can''t prove anything, but the gut feeling''s still there. I want to get to the bottom of this once and for all, but every time I try to talk about it, something comes up or we start arguing. Help!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If she loved you ( rather than seeing you as a sugar daddy ) she would not be "constantly" asking you for money. As a friend, you might offer to help with her food or rent, but she should not expect anyone else to pay for her brother's rent or creche - who paid for those when she was unemployed ? She might be able to ask her employer for a partial advance on the pay she will receive later.
If she was simply in financial dificulties, she might be a bit embarassed, but would not start an argument or fight when you try to talk about it. She has no right to just expect you to pay up without understanding the situation and making your own decisions

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Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2012/04/10

You are hopeleslly in love with her, that might be the real big problem here...you must put a stop to it a.s.a.p cause sooner or later you will end up a poor man.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Realist | 2012/04/06

At the risk of being rude, I suspect that S E X is playing a big part, if not all, of this relationship. No self respecting well brought up person would be asking for money. Its sounds very much like you have landed up with an 18carat Gold Digger ! I would take a long hard look at the relationship, cut off all financial aid, sit back and see what develops !! One gets you Ten, she will be off like a long dog !

Reply to Realist
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/06

If she loved you ( rather than seeing you as a sugar daddy ) she would not be "constantly" asking you for money. As a friend, you might offer to help with her food or rent, but she should not expect anyone else to pay for her brother's rent or creche - who paid for those when she was unemployed ? She might be able to ask her employer for a partial advance on the pay she will receive later.
If she was simply in financial dificulties, she might be a bit embarassed, but would not start an argument or fight when you try to talk about it. She has no right to just expect you to pay up without understanding the situation and making your own decisions

Reply to cybershrink

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