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Question
Posted by: Stressed | 2010/10/02

In recovery

I have taken a peron into home who has just come out of rehab as she can''t go to her parents home as they also abuse drugs. What am I supposed to do if she wants to go out with friends who also did drugs but are now supposedly ckean. Shes is 25 yrs and has a child who I''m also caring for. i think the comings and going of mother is having a traumatic efffect on child. I want to ask her to give me a 2 yr guardianship of child as she needs to be placed in proper school etc. I think I''m setting myself up for heartache but am doing it for little ones sake. Please advise how I shoukd treat this scenario.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Any competent and capable rehab program should have discussed this issue with her, in detail, and should perhaps have also discussed i with whoever she was planning to stay with. Ramining "friends" with and associating with fellow drug-users is a BAD idea and likely to significantly increase the risk of relapse - and what's the difference between her staying with drug-using parents, and staying with you but associating with other drug-users ? It's like an alcoholic going back to their usual pub and mixing with heavy-drinking pals. OK, they're "supposedly" clearn, but apparently that is not sure, and while you could argue that they could support each other in staying clean, they could also easily lead each other back into using. If the main thing they had in common waS the drugs, then the latter is the more likely scenario.
And shouldn't she give more priority to spending time with her child, and getting a normal job, than to socializing ? Is there a social worker who worked with her in rehab, with whom you ( and she ) could discuss the situation ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Stressed | 2010/10/04

The case worker with whom she liaised at rehab has left. I spoke to a nurse there and she said once they leave it''s not their problem and I must set boundaries but I''m not there to keep her prisoner and if I say she can''t go she will probably go anyhow. I''ll spaek to her tonight and we''ll see what happens next weekend. I think this girl is a hopeless case if she wants to continue mixing with gangsters whether they are clean or not and I''m certain that once can''t just stop using TIK on your own without help. She is proving to be an unworthly mother.

Reply to Stressed
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/03

Any competent and capable rehab program should have discussed this issue with her, in detail, and should perhaps have also discussed i with whoever she was planning to stay with. Ramining "friends" with and associating with fellow drug-users is a BAD idea and likely to significantly increase the risk of relapse - and what's the difference between her staying with drug-using parents, and staying with you but associating with other drug-users ? It's like an alcoholic going back to their usual pub and mixing with heavy-drinking pals. OK, they're "supposedly" clearn, but apparently that is not sure, and while you could argue that they could support each other in staying clean, they could also easily lead each other back into using. If the main thing they had in common waS the drugs, then the latter is the more likely scenario.
And shouldn't she give more priority to spending time with her child, and getting a normal job, than to socializing ? Is there a social worker who worked with her in rehab, with whom you ( and she ) could discuss the situation ?

Reply to cybershrink

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