Posted by: Me | 2009-09-29

in neeed of a bit of guidance again!

Its me again with the husband working in the middle east,and with the anger problems.
Ive been walking around with this feeling in my head and heart that i should do something about this situation.He`s been to a therapist,ive been with him,i had some hope we will be fine.But i also had some doubts that i dont love my husband anymore.There was only about 6 sessions and then he had to leave.His anger subsided somewhat,but not totally as he is on holiday here at the moment and there were times that he blow up over nothing,and just couldnt stop in front of out little kids it ussually happens in the car.I have to sk him 5 or 6 times to just stop in front of the kids!
Anyway ive been thinking alot,why should i try and say the right things if it doesnt work.Ive been walking AGAIN on eggshells.
I dont want to try anymore,because i really dont love him anymore ,i feel nothing.I know he doesnt want a divorce, i dont care.I will go and stay on my own or we can remain in the marriage just for companionship,i dont want to have sex with him anymore..
So do you think its the right thing to give him a choice of either divorce or a loveless marriage with just friendship?Ive written hoim a letter and telling him how i feel and what i dont feel.and the choices there is.Maybe a friendship marriage wil take the struggle off pleasing the other one?

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Our expert says:
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Sounds like he may have made a good beginning, but still has some way to go in his personal therapy / counselling as regards dealing with his anger. But it also sounds as though it would be a good idea for you to see your own therapist / counsellor, to work on learning how to handle these episodes. But this is NOT to be seen as lessons in how to walk on egg-shells -- it should be about dealing with the broad range of your difficulties in this relationship, and devising the best way to handle his temper tantrums. And to examine in detail the choices you feel you could / should offer him, and their consequences for you and the children. With either option, you'd need to be sure you had worked out the best way to handle problematic him.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-09-29

Are you sure you wont fall in love with him again? You know you are lucky to not love him because it makes it so much easier to leave him. Make a decision, but make it for yourself and your children. Dont stay in a loveless marriage if he is unwilling to change his temper.

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