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Question
Posted by: Anti-love | 2008/06/12

In Love With The Wrong Person!

For most of my life I was in charge of ME... and my feelings. Then one day, a couple of months ago, I woke up and realised I was deeply in love with a new colleague. Just like that. Not an infatuation as I originally thought, but the big EL-OH-VEE-EE. What a mess!

Up to that day I have steered away from love and was leading a very, VERY wonderful life on my own. When asked how I was I always answered "FANTASTIC", and meant it. Now I have these stupid feelings for someone WHO I DON'T EVEN ALWAYS LIKE and is engaged to be married, and it hurts tremendously. He is truly a pleasant person and will never cheat on his fiancè - thank heavens for that, because I'm not sure that I would have said no! HOW CRAZY IS THAT!

Thing is, I am clearheaded enough to know that this can't and won't go anywhere, but I can't stop these awful feelings, and believe me, I tried. Should I resign and get the heck out of here for my own sake? Get him drunk and seduce him (joke!)? Please, this is new territory for me and I need to move on.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

How are you able to tell, with such certainty, the difference between Love and Infatuation and Crush ? You know he's unavailable and engaged, yet you seem to be working hard to blow this up into a great Love. Why not concentrate on your work ( at work ) and develop different friendships in your own time ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: koos | 2008/06/13

go for him,he is not married yet!

Reply to koos
Posted by: Ja | 2008/06/13

Tell him. Let him decide. What if he feels the same?

Reply to Ja
Posted by: I think | 2008/06/12

Lolo and Der, did u read the post? the guy is engaged to be married!!!
Anti-love u dont want to be crying at the end of the day hey?
My advice will be try to ignore these feelings im sure the'll go away, make time for other friendships u might just meet someone of ur own soon..

Reply to I think
Posted by: Der | 2008/06/12

Go for it!

These other people are just jealous that they don't feel like that about someone.
If you don't do something about it now you'll always wonder ...what if.

Reply to Der
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/06/12

ohh sister how do u know is just crush or lust, build the friendship with him then you'll easyly find out if is just lust.

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: Lova! | 2008/06/12

oh honey, make him yours!

Reply to Lova!
Posted by: SR | 2008/06/12

Anti-love just leave him alone

Reply to SR
Posted by: Anti-love (or not?) | 2008/06/12

He-he-he, GVOR, thanks for that. Still, it is hard. But I'll try!

Reply to Anti-love (or not?)
Posted by: Anti-love (or not?) | 2008/06/12

Oh heck, there seems to be truth in that! We work 14 hour days, 6 days a week, and we work very close together. Don't have much time for other relationships/friendships, so this was bound to happen, you think? But what you say makes sense. Thanks!

Reply to Anti-love (or not?)
Posted by: Gentle Voice Of Reason (GVOR) | 2008/06/12

Oh no, here we go again. Another sister wanting what she cant have. Just let it go already! The man is engaged to be married, you know you cant have him, so forget about him and CONCENTRATE ON YOUR WORK, like cybershrink said.

Reply to Gentle Voice Of Reason (GVOR)

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