Posted by: Confused | 2009-09-21

In love with 2 men - 2

Thanks Ditto. I dont have many friends and I am sure I am confusing this " love"  I feel for friendship as I have not had either many times in my life. I love the attention he gives me. How can that be wrong? Its not sexual in nature.

CS : I dont see thinking about someone else is cheating. I am not thinking about sex, leaving my family etc. So how can that be cheating? He is one of my suppliers for more than 6 years, so yes, there is a genuine reason for our contact via sms or phone, like I have with dozens of other people. We had just never met face to face before this. As stated above, I dont have many friends and this social club is important to me as its the 1st place I have ever really felt I belonged. Why give it up because I am confused by another person?

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Our expert says:
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Is it ever "wrong" to love getting attention ? Maybe --- all pleasure isn't unarguably and always great --- taking dangerous drugs may give some temporary pleasure, but its also likely to destroy one's life. Transforming oneself into a very high maintenance person, moving from wanting to expecting to demanding high levels of attention, can simply make you unaffordable, financially or emotionally, for most of the people you would otherwise enjoy being with.
And chating is not entirely defined by physical sex, or even ne cessarily about sex --- if one allows oneself to become emotionally entwined with someone else, withdrawing some of the love from the relationship you are already committed to, that's surely a form of cheating --- though the people enjoying it rarely are prepared to see or concede that. Its a shame i you have no other way to make or meet friends that one particular social club --- but if so, can't you form more friendships, including friendships with women at the club, rather than more exclusively with one man ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ditto 2 | 2009-09-22

Wow it is difficult to go through this. Trust me I know and the readers are right when they say it is really hot fire. No where on this forum will you ever read that what you are doing is right. Its not, esp if you have so much to loose. And I know a very big part of you wants to play with those coals but no doubt is going to burn. I should talk last LOL but try and get yourself out of this before its more difficult to get out. Remember the feeling is mutual BUT when the sh*t hits the fan, your hubby will leave you and you will be sorry, while his wife will eventually forgive him and his " perfect"  family would move on. Now thats whats going to hurt. That is what helped me. If i could not " let go"  for my fam I had to do it for his :-). I suffered a lot of abuse from my husband which lead me to seek atttention (no excuse)but you said you have something good going, please concentrate on this. I know the " attention feeling"  is hard to forget but try?its true what people say,try to move away from the presence of that person. Trust me it helps a little...Good luck!

Reply to Ditto 2
Posted by: Really | 2009-09-21

Eventually, you will cheat!!!!

It seems as though you are looking for approval as to justify what you are doing as being ok. Well, wake up, it' s NOT OK. How would you feel if the situation was reversed and you found out that your hubby is going through, this kind of thing? Would you look at it as innocent?

You are definately playing with very hot fire and it will be a big mission to put it out. The only problem might be that by then yours his family would have already been burnt down!

Your business relationship can be kept at the office and should be more formal, maybe during working hours, by email, phone call or even meetings during working hours and not to compromise your position. SMS are ok if you know when and how to draw the line and it seems you clearly can' t!

The social club needn' t be about you seeing him and him seeing you? Are you looking for a divorce? Why is he the only person you seem to be interested in and why does it seem as though you want to persue him?

Reply to Really
Posted by: Bob' s Girlfriend | 2009-09-21

get yourself a girlfriend to talk 2, stop playing with fire.

Reply to Bob&#39 s Girlfriend

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