Our expert says:
As Liza sys, they're like stray cats or dogs - stop feeding them. Just say you prepare enough only for your own family, and can't afford to feed them, too. Point out that they have a kitchen, an adequate income, and 3 adults who should be able to cook. Offer to find some take-out menus they can use, too.
Lazy SIL again, refuse to feed them. Don't invite them for meals, ever, and if they hang around at meal-time, either go hungry till they leave, or say "Sorry, but its time for US to have OUR dinner - if you're staying, would you like to order pizza ? "
Or, maybe, print out a menu for the things you usually cook, with clear prices, and ask them what they'd like to order.
They will all continue to do this so long as you allow them to. WHile you provide an open-all-hours free restaurant, why wouldn't they prefer to eat there ?
SIL must find somewhere to stay which she can afford - her failure to earn enough to support herself should not be your problem.
So long as you fail to put your foot down, expect this all to continue. You need to be assertive and firm, not aggressive. And its not even untimately for their own good to train them to become parasites, rather than self-sufficient.
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