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Question
Posted by: Mush | 2010/01/28

In Laws

Im 29 staying with my fiance planning to get married later this year(I dont think I want to),the problem started last year when his family brought his cousin to look for school(tertiary) they said she will find a place at school she didnt and ended up staying with us then she left.This year its a boy and this time I was not asked I just saw the boy and Fiancee said he will look for a place he' s lazy we had a fight yesterday about him not washing the dishes and taking out the trash forget about cleaning.Fiancee said Im selfish because I dont like his family.Is it fair sometimes I feel like going bck home.Help Im depressed

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

ou're not bein selfish for objecting to his family using you as an unpaid servant to care for their various lazy relatives. But if you're staying in his home, its up to him who else might stay there. Recognize that this pattern is very unlikely to get any better after mariage, and maybe you should be warned to seriouslty reconsider the whole idea.
I hope you're sad and disappointed rather than depressed. Why not go home ? Don't you deserve a better man and a better situation than this ?

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Bongi | 2010/01/29

Sleeping on the street is one thing. We are talking about teenagers here who come to " look for a job"  and never leave and seat on their bums watching TV all day while you wait on them.

Reply to Bongi
Posted by: Me | 2010/01/29

And here I am, wondering why my boyfriend won' t let my mom stay with us if she' s having trouble with her partner (who is abusive, and she has no where else to go). I just feel that I should be able to open up my doors to family when they are in need, and that they should do the same for me. If something happend, and I suddenly didn' t have a home, my family wouldn' t let me sleep on the street.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Bongi | 2010/01/29

Ow my Gosh I was exactly in the same boat as you, except I was already married. The whole time we were married one of his brothers was staying with us " looking for a job" . When I spoke I was also blamed for hating his family. It never changes girl. And it was one of the reasons I am divorced today. In-laws should be loved from a distance, from a long distance.

Reply to Bongi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/28

ou're not bein selfish for objecting to his family using you as an unpaid servant to care for their various lazy relatives. But if you're staying in his home, its up to him who else might stay there. Recognize that this pattern is very unlikely to get any better after mariage, and maybe you should be warned to seriouslty reconsider the whole idea.
I hope you're sad and disappointed rather than depressed. Why not go home ? Don't you deserve a better man and a better situation than this ?

Reply to cybershrink

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