advertisement
Question
Posted by: Shells | 2008/07/23

In - laws!

Hi There

My fiance and I are living with my inlaws at the moment. We have bought land which we are going to build on (as soon as the interest rate eases up so we have extra dosh to do it!)

In the meantime we are in a flat on their property because we dont have enough money to rent a place that costs more than R1500! His dad is an alcoholic - everyone admits it is private but in front of other people and to his face they pretend there is no problem. He can hold a job and doesnt drink on the job so he is a functioning alcoholic, but the minute he gets home he must have a whole bottle of something or other and as soon as he starts drinking he becomes argumentative and shouts and swears and bangs things. On the weekends it is much worse - if he runs out of alcohol then he tells other family members to get more for him - (even if it is 3am) and if we refuse we are shouted at and told we must move out!

The whole family gets into screaming matches as this is the only way they feel they can be heard - I came from a family where the only time you were allowed to scream was if your life was in danger - when we had problems we sat down and talked about it and it never got out of hand

It makes me very very uncomfortable - everytime they shout I start to panic - but if I say anything my fiances father turns on me, then my fiance shouts at him - its a vicious circle!

I am embarressed to have friends or my family around because of this!

We are getting married next year and if we have not been able to build and move out by the time our first baby comes along I really dont want my child to be subjected to this!

What can we do??

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand that you find this a distressing situation, but it's not within my field of expertise to suggest solutions. What could the pair of you do to improve your chances of being able to afford to stay somewhere else ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: nana | 2008/07/23

shells, that is not a healthy environment to be in, im sure u can find a place for less than R1500, jus tkeep looking, at some point this is gona cause problems between u and ur man, jus tsearch for a place around where u stay, u can even rent a backroom from a house, like a cottage thype of thing, but main point is u and ur man need ur own space, look hard im sure you' ll find

Reply to nana

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement