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Question
Posted by: Angel | 2012/05/14

In law advice

Hi CS

I actually dont know were to start. My in laws have this very " fake"  life, where today they in our lives the next they not. Its been an emotional roller coaster for me for about 3 years now. They use to constantly involve themselves in my marriage with my husband to the point where he actually agreed with them. It got so bad that i did attempt suicide. Today as we stand my husband has seen right threw there lies and deception.
The problem is they mess with my families emotions constantly. my husband does not feel welcome by them, he is the eldest of the " children" . When they need something they knock on our door, once they ok, they then shut us out. My husband has taking a huge change in his life and converted from christian to catholic, this is a huge problem, they wont admit it but say in directly they dont agree.

Our marriage is now getting affected by all this. Im miserable cause its horrible being an outsider all the time. All they ever talk about is the other " children" .
Previously we have tried to sit them down to chat, it turned into a screaming match with the in laws storming out, and not talking to us for 6 months.
My husband is withdraw. What would you suggest?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Even if it's fake, it's their life and their choice. If they're inconsistent, that's really annoying. And if they interfere in your marriage, and your husband is week enough to allow it, that's not at all a good idea, and marriage counselling would be well worth it.
Your husband's conversion is his business, not theirs. You've tried talking it oput with them, and apparently it doesnt work. Then move on, together, and just calmly make it clear to them that you have both agreed that you will accept no more interference or scenes. And if they then decide not to talk to you for a time, you won't have lost much, will you ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/14

Even if it's fake, it's their life and their choice. If they're inconsistent, that's really annoying. And if they interfere in your marriage, and your husband is week enough to allow it, that's not at all a good idea, and marriage counselling would be well worth it.
Your husband's conversion is his business, not theirs. You've tried talking it oput with them, and apparently it doesnt work. Then move on, together, and just calmly make it clear to them that you have both agreed that you will accept no more interference or scenes. And if they then decide not to talk to you for a time, you won't have lost much, will you ?

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