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Question
Posted by: Sarah | 2011/02/07

In addition to question 765

In addition to the womb question: how will being threatened with a gun in the years to come have an effect on one? In this scenario it is the baby (growing up) as well as the mother? The dad was very abusive (not physically, but verbally) and he always threatened with a gun when he wanted his way. He also drank a lot.

The baby in this scenario is now a 29 year old adult, but struggles a lot with panic attacks, abdominal pain, nervousness, literally afraid of everything etc. Could this be related to the person's childhood? The " baby"  is me, actually.

As I grow older it feels that I have absolutely no control over my life. I am looking / searching for the reason why I am like this. Could it be my father and the way that he acted. I might also add that when he wasn't drunk and verbally abusive he was very, very absent in my life. Never there, actually, and when he was I was terrified most of the time and wished him away.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Abuse is rarely done in only one way, and many different variables decide how it may affect us. Panic attacks, anxiety disorder, etc., are really common disorders even in people who led glorious childhoods.

And it is often not actually useful to explore the depths of ancient history, rather than dealing realistically with current symptoms such as in CBT.

It seems so very obvious that it should be useful to discover reasons and causes for feeling bad, but it is surprisingly unhelpful in practice.

Obviously, those who sell their services as experts on excavating the past will insist that it is vital to do so, but the good quality evidence is not on their side.

And much depends, too, on how old the "baby" was when such things happened. Up to around age 4 or 5, our brains really don't have the wiring in place to form lasting and accurate memories.

But the important thing is to work towards relieving these unpleasant symptoms and problems now. YOu need to see a good GENERAL psychiatrist for a thorough assessment, and then a discussion of treatment options, which may usefully include medications, CBT style counselling / therapy, or other interventions.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sam | 2011/02/07

I doubt a website would provide the help required - to say you have gone so long without therapy and you are not feeling good would point towards cybershrinks advice to find a good general shrink as being the way to go. Talk to your GP to recommend someone. You cannot to this on your own.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Liza | 2011/02/07

Start off by reading about CBT(Cognitive Behavior Therapy) - perhaps through a site like wikipedia dot org. Although reading about it doesn''t really teach you the skills. A good therapist is usually necessary.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Sarah | 2011/02/07

Thanks Sam. Any websites I can visit with regards to this? I know therapy is probably the answer like you said but I''ve gone so long without it. Maybe there are a few websites that can assitst met in understanding this?

Reply to Sarah
Posted by: Sam | 2011/02/07

lt is a pity your mother did not leave him at the first insatnce of abuse. Having grown up in such an enviroment l am sure this is at least partly a reason you feel as you do. Although he was mainly absent he still terified you as a child. I think you should seek therapy to assist as soon as possible.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/07

Abuse is rarely done in only one way, and many different variables decide how it may affect us. Panic attacks, anxiety disorder, etc., are really common disorders even in people who led glorious childhoods.

And it is often not actually useful to explore the depths of ancient history, rather than dealing realistically with current symptoms such as in CBT.

It seems so very obvious that it should be useful to discover reasons and causes for feeling bad, but it is surprisingly unhelpful in practice.

Obviously, those who sell their services as experts on excavating the past will insist that it is vital to do so, but the good quality evidence is not on their side.

And much depends, too, on how old the "baby" was when such things happened. Up to around age 4 or 5, our brains really don't have the wiring in place to form lasting and accurate memories.

But the important thing is to work towards relieving these unpleasant symptoms and problems now. YOu need to see a good GENERAL psychiatrist for a thorough assessment, and then a discussion of treatment options, which may usefully include medications, CBT style counselling / therapy, or other interventions.

Reply to cybershrink

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