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Question
Posted by: Wondering | 2011/06/08

Impossible to find a real man these days

All I ever wanted in a man was honesty, integrity, kindness, plus a healthy lifestyle (a non-smoker, drug-free, moderate drinker, lover of nature and sports). Nothing too eccentric, just someone who''s loving and responsible and would enjoy sharing their life with me, and a beautiful family life.

But what I find is people who often don''t have a job, or even if they do, they still play video games from the time they get home until they go to bed, which is usually between 1am and 5am. Then they either wake up at 7 for work or they sleep all day if they don''t have a job. Besides, they smoke weed and/or cigarettes. They don''t clean their houses nor do they do laundry very often. However, these men often believe they are ready to commit and they often want to start a family.

I feel quite lost because I don''t think a person in those circunstances is ready for all the responsibilities and expenses that come with a child. I don''t want a person who goes to bed after 12am since my work requires that I go to bed around 11, and good sleep is essencial for a happy and emotionally stable life.

Am I asking for too much? I know I''m difficult to deal with sometimes and my thin body and flat chest aren''t exactly what most men feel attracted to, but I have a lot of love to give and I''m employed and responsible.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I guess everyone would prefer a partner with such characteristics - though one finds them more often in a dog. Anyone who plays computer games for that long per night, must have an otherwise empty life. You sound like the sort of woman many men would appreciate. But finding a compatible person isn't easy. I'm sure other readers will be able to provide some useful insights.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2011/06/15

I consider myself one of the good guys. I can cook, clean and do my own laundry. Yet I’ m single. I meet women interested in having a relationship with me but find it difficult to find one with compatible values. I meet women who have planned their lives to the “ t”  and want a mend who must just fit into their plan and forget about anything else they ever dreamed of becoming.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: no | 2011/06/10

For a moment - you have got me thinking about myself. I am not a good candidate I must admit. I mean I meet the requirements but the cleaning part, will deepend on how much cleaning you require in one but I suppose it not anything one cannot improve on if it meant keeping a good woman.

I think the general problem is not that there are no good men. there are just no good people anymore. MAN and WOMAN period, if you believe in partnering with anyone, you get yourself a second hand man and you will pay for the service along the way. the days of good man good wife are gone. Now it is just mix of screwed up people in all angles.

Reply to no
Posted by: Eish | 2011/06/10

Thin and no boobies.....you still dont understand why you only attract losers...? What about the face?

Reply to Eish
Posted by: Anonymous for this one | 2011/06/09

I think you do. I cook  I clean  I don''t smoke. Id drink  maybe more then moderately. (Red wine.) Healthy though.
I have an excilant job  but I''m not rich. I also happen to prefer thin woman  and think more then a hand full is a waste. And during the week I have to get enough sleep  and I don''t negotiate around this. By 9 actually...lol

BUT: I also wonder where do you find true womanl with good values and not too many issues? Everyone has issues  I know that. Someone that would not try and change me  except me for who I am.
Because of the above  I prefer to be single. Sad isn''t it....

Reply to Anonymous for this one
Posted by: Realist | 2011/06/08

I have a niece who spent time in the UK and at one stage asked " Where are all the good guys?"  So it seems as if its a universal problem.
I attribute it in the main to the " Me"  generation that affects both males and females. They seem to have a sense of entitlement . spoilt by parents who either don''t care to do the hard yards with their kids, teaching them respect not only for themselves, but for others. Teaching them the advantages of fiscal discipline, how to cook, yes, boith sexes and to be independant, because they are too tied up in their own lives. The lack of religious believes, not necessarily Christian play an important role in developing a person into what you seek. Yes, there are lots of guys who fit the bill, they are out there and yet its amazing how many of these " good guys"  end up with little " me, mine and me"  girls who do not appreciate them, prefering to associate with those losers you so aptly describe. Why ? Heavens knows.

Reply to Realist
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/08

I guess everyone would prefer a partner with such characteristics - though one finds them more often in a dog. Anyone who plays computer games for that long per night, must have an otherwise empty life. You sound like the sort of woman many men would appreciate. But finding a compatible person isn't easy. I'm sure other readers will be able to provide some useful insights.

Reply to cybershrink

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