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Question
Posted by: Emmy2 | 2010/05/24

Immobilised Ex 2

Hi Cybershrink
Yes.I know this in my heart.It just hurts.And I hurt to have to acknowledge he is a lazy loser.Talking to you makes me feel a bit better.The thing is that his family is overseas and I phoned them to tell them the truth with great difficulty as they don''t speak English save for one teenage cousin and I don''t speak a word of their language.I think he lies to them about how it is going etc.Its hard, really.I told them the truth.I told them to fetch/send for him (against his will), offer him a home and a job.Or send him R5000pm for the rest of his life.They may reject it.And then I will have to set him a time limit.I''ve been unemployed, sick, trudging up&  down looking for work and I found it-fm a good job to R20/hr.But it led to better things.He just sleeps and sits.I said to him if you depressed go to the local clinic.He won''t.You know take a horse to water...My mom agrees with me and she is pretty astute.I guess its hard to be horrible I am soft-hearted, but my mom says I have my moments too calls me " Velvet in a Steel Glove" .Oh well, thanks for listening.I will tell you what transpires (if I may).

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It is HIS heart which should be sad at recognizing that he is a lazy loser, not yours - you did not cause the situation to occur or last - HE did. With the language problems, he may well lie to them about the situation, which is why he should visit them so they can see and believe for themselves.
And it is not being horrible to make him face the situation he has created. Being too soft is enabling him to remain unwell and incompetent.
Strength !

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/24

It is HIS heart which should be sad at recognizing that he is a lazy loser, not yours - you did not cause the situation to occur or last - HE did. With the language problems, he may well lie to them about the situation, which is why he should visit them so they can see and believe for themselves.
And it is not being horrible to make him face the situation he has created. Being too soft is enabling him to remain unwell and incompetent.
Strength !

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