advertisement
Question
Posted by: Very Sad | 2011/07/28

Imminent divorce

How does one as a father and husband handle a divorce. Its breaking me up seriously. I still love her very much.
I don''t know how to get through to her, counceling didn''t help, well we couldn''t see it through as we had run out of money for it.
I am so scared, I don''t want to, not be there at night when my son, 2years, comes home and plays. I love and enjoy him to bits.
My wife has this thought that I cheated on her and that I am not a good husband to her. Being spiteful and nasty to her.
There is one thing I can say is that I was still a virgin when we married 6years ago and I never have cheated on her with anybody, that I can say infront of God and he will say its true.
Being spiteful and nasty, I am not. I really try to be nice the whole time with her and give her anything she asks for if I can give it. I don''t know if I have become this way without knowing. I do become frustrated sometimes that it doesn''t want to get better no matter what I try for 2years now.
Is there any suggestions out there on how to maybe win her back as she has asked me for divorce?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its never easy, and counselling genuinely can help you in most cases. It sounds as though what failed was joint counselling and I wonder whether this may have been sabotaged by her, as if one participant does not sincerely want it to work, it cannot do so.
Why did she form such a firm opinion that you cheated on her ? Especialy as you say there wan't any basis for this in reality. Giving her anything she asks for is not being a good husband. You cannot make a marriage succeed all on your own, and cannot buy a happy ending. Look after yourself. If she is not prepared to allow this marriage to work, you may have to cut your losses, accept a divorce, take time to heal, and start again cautiously

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/30

Its never easy, and counselling genuinely can help you in most cases. It sounds as though what failed was joint counselling and I wonder whether this may have been sabotaged by her, as if one participant does not sincerely want it to work, it cannot do so.
Why did she form such a firm opinion that you cheated on her ? Especialy as you say there wan't any basis for this in reality. Giving her anything she asks for is not being a good husband. You cannot make a marriage succeed all on your own, and cannot buy a happy ending. Look after yourself. If she is not prepared to allow this marriage to work, you may have to cut your losses, accept a divorce, take time to heal, and start again cautiously

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/07/29

It sounds typically like a spouse who tries to project their negativity onto the unsuspecting partner. Many times when the one accuses the other and constantly finds faults, starts paying more attention to thier appearance, attitude and committment to the family, there is a 3rd party involved. On the other hand, if you have neglecteed her or taken her for granted now that you are married, maybe she feels you dont love her as much and is not happy to settle for less. Only you can establish what the reasons are for her behaviour and resolve it with her, failing which then accept her decision.

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: Bozo | 2011/07/29

Sorry, but the chances is very good that she is the one having an affair.

Reply to Bozo
Posted by: Uniqu | 2011/07/28

why does she believe you cheated? what does she tell you are her reasons for this belief?

Reply to Uniqu

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement