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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2008/10/23

Immature or not

Yesterday I was approached by a guy at work telling me that he was attracted to me. He told me that he has been watching everday for the last 3 months, but only had the courage to talk to me now. He came into my office stated his case and told me to think about a friendship and a possible relationship with him. He really is well spoken and very sure of himself. The problem here is that there is a 6 year age gap between the 2 of us with me being older person. He really does flatter me and I have my reservations about dating a younger guy., He feels that I should give him a chance to prove to me that he is not immature for his age. I asked him why a 24 year old would date a 30 year old with a child if he could be with people his own age who doesnt have any commitments and his reply to me was that when one becomes attracted to another person it doesnt matter about the circumstance and if you really want to make it work with this person you should accept them for who they are and work around the situation so that its acceptable for both parties. What do I do? Give him a chance?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not just the issue of age differences, with which SA seems obsessed at present, but the fact that office romances often go sour. Are you in any way his superior or supervisor at work ? If so, that should count strongly against such a relationship. ? makes some good suggestions

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Our users say:
Posted by: S &  T | 2008/10/23

Okay so he' s a colleague?

He' s 24 and you are 30 and have a child..

Go for it? - NO

It' s not a good idea to get romantically involved with someone from work, no matter how mature one or even both of you are (well if you are in deed mature, you won' t not pursue a relationship with someone from work)..it' s such a cliche, but it' s also one that' s very very true!

Lets say you start a relationship - that will not only cause unnesessary stress at the office, but will also have an effect on your reputation at work.

I' m 24 and date within my age range and most 24 year old men are still not completely mature. Going through the last bit of identity crisis before they truly mature. No offence to any man out there! But it' s the truth. If he was 27/28 that would' ve been different. Believe me, it just is!

Also, think about your child..

Reply to S &amp  T
Posted by: ali | 2008/10/23

i wouldn' t worry about the age, rather where he is at and if you are both looking for the same things.
think of the repercussions if things go sour..

good luck
Ali

Reply to ali
Posted by: ? | 2008/10/23

Maybe test the waters 1st. Try and find a way to introduce your child into the situation, and see how he behaves with the child. If he is welcoming of the idea and does not seem affected by it, then maybe...
Try and get to know him while at work. See how he behaves with other collegues, and maybe even ask them what they think of him.

A 6 year age gap is not too bad. I don' t think.

Reply to ?
Posted by: nick uwc | 2008/10/23

see my post - mentalk!

Reply to nick uwc
Posted by: nick uwc | 2008/10/23

I left you a message in relation to your maturity concern.

Reply to nick uwc

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