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Question
Posted by: Lebza | 2012-02-20

Imaginary Lover?????

This has been continuing for some time now and I am a little bit concerned. Some perspective on this will be much appreciated by yours truly.

I am 30, a gentleman. I am independent and have done well career wise and in life. Upto this moment I have only been with two people that I feel that I really loved them and they loved me, of cos it was not at the same time. My first relationship lasted for over two years, and my second one lasted for almost five years. I brokeup with my partner in April last year. I dont regrete losing both relationships as much as at some point I felt that I am with my soulmate. Thing is I am a keeper and I always ensure that I earn my way out of a relationship. So the problem is I am a happy person and very kind and warm, so I do attract people who want to share their lives with me and I will go with the motion for about a month. After a month I completely lose interest, and I turn not to pretend as I will just switch off. Recently this guy thought I was cheating and he decided to come to my house on three occassions and he found me by myself. He went through my phone and found nothing. I assured him that I am not seeing anybody and I cannot see him either. That broke my heart and tried to put myself in his shoes, at the same time I could not taklk myself into being with him.

I seem to have this ideal man in my mind, and it scares me because the thought of being with him makes me content and feel that I dont need anybody but him. The problem is I do go out and since am very sociable I constantly lead people on and they fall for me. I play along until my imaginery boyfriend visit me and Doc I drop everything and enjoy this imaginery boyfriend of mine. Yaah I sort of allowed this for couple of months but now it scares me and I seem to have lost control over it.

Is it normal, and what about those souls that I keep on hurting. I really feel terrible right now.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The concept of "soulmate" poisons relationships and should be avoided at all cost ! If we insist on expecting too much, we receive too little. You can be friendly without "leading people on".
Maybe a personal counsellor could help you review your experiences and work out what you need and how to get there from here ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lebza | 2012-02-22

Lol, I am flattered but brace self. You are a funny man, admin will suspend us it goes against the rules of the forum but if you are daring its zeroseventwozerofoursevenfiveonesevensix.

Reply to Lebza
Posted by: ? | 2012-02-21

YES,Are you?

Reply to ?
Posted by: Lebza | 2012-02-21

Lol, does it really matter this days? Are you intersted?

Reply to Lebza
Posted by: ? | 2012-02-20

Lebza just some clarity,are you a mofie?

Reply to ?
Posted by: Lebza | 2012-02-20

Yaah that is my fear, am not getting any younger. Roc this ideal partner is some simple person, who just lives and love life like me. I get turned off by these potential mates as soon as they start complaining or feeling sorry for themselvse. You know its very complicated, anyhoo thanks for the response

Reply to Lebza
Posted by: Roc | 2012-02-20

Please if you can diiscribe this ideal partner or imaginary lover of yours, honestly in my life i haven''t met an ideal partner i don''t thing they exist because no one is perfect , they might achieve all the material or do well in their life but miss something, like you, you not getting younger.

Reply to Roc
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-02-20

The concept of "soulmate" poisons relationships and should be avoided at all cost ! If we insist on expecting too much, we receive too little. You can be friendly without "leading people on".
Maybe a personal counsellor could help you review your experiences and work out what you need and how to get there from here ?

Reply to cybershrink

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