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Question
Posted by: Carli | 2011/08/13

I''m such a mess :-(

I don''t know what''s going on anymore.... I don''t know how to have fun, I don''t know how to be part of the crowd, I don''t know anything. I had friends, years ago, but after I left the company we were working at they dropped me, gossiped about me (the one even went so far as to tell people I loosened the wheels of her car- I can''t even open glass jars half the time)... I tried to make new friends but the one never returned disks that I borrowed her, because she had damaged them and given them to some one I didn''t even know, who in turn didn''t want to return them. I only found this out after she threatened to sue me for harrassment because I was bugging her so much. I tried again, but this friend kept me waiting for two hours at a bar and when I said lets rather go out next weekend, I never heard from her again. I didn''t go out for months at a time- I didn''t want to. When I did go with my boyfriend, I could never enjoy myself because I would be left by myself while he chatted to everyone he knew. He''s very extroverted, I''m extremely introverted and when we go out, I feel lonely and losery and I can''t enjoy myself and get annoyed at the stupidest things. I don''t drink alcohol (last night I got annoyed because the barman told me there was no coke, but I could see the tins in the fridge, and that just ruined it for me), I don''t smoke, I don''t belong. I''m a social misfit. I''m always tired, moody, and people think I''m a bitch. I don''t want to live like this, I get jealous of people having fun when I can''t.... How do I change?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, it sounds as though the way your "friends" begaved after you left that workplace, proves bwyond doubt that they were NOT friends of yours ( and probably not friends of each other, either - they'd probably be as ugly to each other had another of them left ). So you are very well rid of them. The paranoid one sounds more like she has a few screws loose, and not in her car wheels.
Seems you've had really bad luck, SO FAR, with "friends". And it sounds as though you may have a primary problem with low self-esteem and self-confidence, needing the agreement of others to feel good about yourself, or to enjoy yourself. Seeing a counsellor could greatly help you to improve these matters, and be more confident and less easily swated negatively by others. ( Don't let a lazy and lying barman make you feel bad. Instead, order a brandy and coke, without the brandy. )
And most of those awful people are pretending to have a great time, but I doubt whether they are.
Counselling will be the answer, so you can first discover how great you are, and then share that with others

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: New Life | 2011/08/13

Bear in mind that you are not the only one in this situation. Change your circle of friends. Invite people over and visit people. It might not be your friend but his/her brother that will do it for you. Remember that tomorrow is always there to correct the mistakes of yesterday. You and only you are responsible for your own happiness. Start today and walk around with a smile on your face. If necessary put on a mask for the moment. Good luck and I know things will improve for you.

Reply to New Life
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/13

OK, it sounds as though the way your "friends" begaved after you left that workplace, proves bwyond doubt that they were NOT friends of yours ( and probably not friends of each other, either - they'd probably be as ugly to each other had another of them left ). So you are very well rid of them. The paranoid one sounds more like she has a few screws loose, and not in her car wheels.
Seems you've had really bad luck, SO FAR, with "friends". And it sounds as though you may have a primary problem with low self-esteem and self-confidence, needing the agreement of others to feel good about yourself, or to enjoy yourself. Seeing a counsellor could greatly help you to improve these matters, and be more confident and less easily swated negatively by others. ( Don't let a lazy and lying barman make you feel bad. Instead, order a brandy and coke, without the brandy. )
And most of those awful people are pretending to have a great time, but I doubt whether they are.
Counselling will be the answer, so you can first discover how great you are, and then share that with others

Reply to cybershrink

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