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Question
Posted by: busi | 2011-02-14

im so sad

im a27 year old lady with 2 kids aged 1& 8.last year my childs father admitted to telling another girl in our neighbourhood that he was interested in her.he only admitted this after i had found out from my cousins wife.he was working nightshifts.

i got so angry that i burnt everything he owns.i know that was stupid but i did it.he appologised &  cried so much &  even asked his parents to speak to me.this happened last year in march but im still angry.

he tells me how much he loves me and how sorry he s but i still feel hurt.i have never cheated on him because i watched my sister die of aids and i dont want to die like that.both my parents have passed on &  i dont have any other siblings to turn to.

i dont have afull time job so im studying marketing managemant through correspondence,wich he is paying for.he has even payed lobolo to my aunts to prove how serious is about our future and he is raising my eldest child as if she is his own.

how do i heal? i admit that i have a very low selfesteem and dont trust him around women anymore. i only have 2 friends who i communicate on the phone with sometimes but i feel very lonely.i hardly leave the house &  im afraid of what people think of me.i also try to suppliment our income. please help me sir.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOur anger was understandable. If I understand you correctly, he flirted with another girl, but didn't actually physically cheat with her ? And he has now apologised profusely ? Its understandable that you feel hurt, though according to your story what he did was much less awful than far too many men do to their women.
It sounds as though he really is very committed to you, and you to him. Low self-esteem seems to have added a great deal to the sting of events. See a counsellor to work on the self-esteem issues, as well as your reactions to this specific event. I'm sure you should soon be able to recognize what an excellent person you are, and to gain valuable confidence, as well as being able to get this event into proportion and sort out such problems more easily

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-02-14

YOur anger was understandable. If I understand you correctly, he flirted with another girl, but didn't actually physically cheat with her ? And he has now apologised profusely ? Its understandable that you feel hurt, though according to your story what he did was much less awful than far too many men do to their women.
It sounds as though he really is very committed to you, and you to him. Low self-esteem seems to have added a great deal to the sting of events. See a counsellor to work on the self-esteem issues, as well as your reactions to this specific event. I'm sure you should soon be able to recognize what an excellent person you are, and to gain valuable confidence, as well as being able to get this event into proportion and sort out such problems more easily

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