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Question
Posted by: question | 2008/07/10

if i may ask...

... is there married women in here?

if so, i would like to ask an advise.

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Our expert says:
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I don't qualify to answer this one !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2008/07/10

Agree with everything Visitor said.
Early marriage was difficult. I was brought up in a home where my father found it impossible to stay faithful so trust was an issue to begin with. I was also very independent and found it difficult to remember that there was now another person in my life.
We have two children.
I think the important thing is to stick it out - there will be times when you look at your husband and wonder why the hell you married him - I am sure he does the same. You will get angry and argue but these things pass. Just don't go running home to mommy at the first argument.
Money - my husband is absolutely useless with money so I have always had the job of the family budget, paying the bills etc. He has generally earned more than me but admit that when I was earning more I kept quiet about it. Money or the lack of it has always been the biggest problem in our marriage - his spending and expecting me to miraculously pay the bills.
Sex - the quality has got better over time and the quantity has got less. Sometimes 2-3 times a week and then nothing for 3 weeks. It is fairly predictable.
When we were first married we went everywhere together but these days he will often go and do his thing and I will do mine - not parties, just different interests.
Marriage is a partnership and you have to take the good with the bad, learn to accept his bad habits and things that annoy you - I am sure I have many habits which irritate him.
Don't expect never to disagree, I don't believe people who say they have never disagreed with their husband.
No, I don't play mother to my husband, unless you count the cooking, washing etc. No, he is not my everything, I would miss him terribly but think I could cope without him.
It is not easy but I think it is worth it.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: M | 2008/07/10

Wow! Vistor

That was beautiful.I am not married but will be heading that way soon.Thanking you for your words of wisdom.I take peoples advice and yours was pretty good!

Take care.

Reply to M
Posted by: Visitor | 2008/07/10

how we keep it?? yes we are happy but it takes a lot of work. i think thats the secret ingredient - it is not a 50 50 - each partner has to give the other 100% - be prepared to give more than receive and you will always be happy.

Reply to Visitor
Posted by: visitor | 2008/07/10

question, maria would be the best for this answer but i can also try - have been married 25 years, since i was 17!!!

wives are mothers.. to their children and their husband but often because they want control and also because they are inherently mothers
husbands - as macho as they are they need reassurance and nurturing to make them the best they can be
trust - 100% never have had reason not to
money - quite equal. have been times as a wife i earn more, not a problem - there is a family budget
sex - 3 - 4 times a week (sometimes once and sometimes 5 times)
4 chilren - love them to death, very important in our lives
have had problems as husbands sometimes think moms give more attention to the kids than them (remember what i said about nurturing ...)
sex - better with age, prepared to try new things as we are comfortable with each others bodies
we never go out seperately, most outings are around rugby and braaing. our rule has never been to have a ladies/mens night out

Reply to visitor
Posted by: Question | 2008/07/10

question for especially u Maria, how did u do it for so long, what makes u happy in ure marriage and how did u keep it?

and

r u a wife or 'playing mother' to ur husband?
is he husband or 'playing Mr everything' to you?
do u trust each other? why?
who has more money between the two of you and how do u deal with it?
do u have children?
how often do u have sex?
how is ur sex life? predictable or experimental?
do u go out together to parties?

Reply to Question
Posted by: neta | 2008/07/10

Obviously.

Reply to neta
Posted by: Maria | 2008/07/10

Married 37 years, sometimes happily, sometimes not so happily. Don't know what advice you want but if I don't know, I am sure someone out there will have advice for you.
You are completely anonymous so ask away.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Kaylynn | 2008/07/10

Yes, there is. I am married. What advice do you need. There may be a couple of married women who can help.

Reply to Kaylynn

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