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Question
Posted by: mimi | 2009-10-21

I' ve lost interest

I feel like I' m being crushed. A huge wall of bricks is weighing me down, down, down,
I got divorced over a year ago, he left me. I' m Bipolar. I managed to bounce back and get my own life on track, slowly but surely.
I was thin and vibrant and beautiful and.... free.
I got involved with a dear friend of mine and sicne then I' ve put on weight, I' ve become despondent, tired, listless, lifeless almost.
He sits around doing nothing when he' s not working and I gave into that as well. THEN he complains because I' m fat and " when am I going back to gym"  and maybe I should take it easy on the take out food. meanwhile... he' s got a pot belly!

These are things I want to do anyway, but now I' m just pi$$ed off and am so resistant to doing anything to m ake myself look better.

I wanted to leave him, he gets so sad though and says things like I am the one who helps him get through his huge workload and be able to relax when he gets a spare moment. and he enjoys my company but he!!, c' mon dude. Give me a break.
I didn' t blow up totally.
I find that trying to cheer myself up and cheer him up is taking a massive toll on me and it almost feels like it' s triggering a depressive episode. Right now when I need to look for a job as my contract ends end-Oct. I need to be at my best and I know exactly how to pick myself up and be all vibrant againa, and eventaully skinny and fit again... just not with this heavy heavy heavy weight that feels like it' s crushing me down.
Coffee is not working by the way.... caffeine is abd anyway, but some days I feel I really have NO choice otherwise I wouldn' t be able to even get up!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Re-visit whichever psychiatrist is helping you to manage your bipolar disorder, for a start ( and this is a condition which should be managed by psychiatrists and not GPs ).
As for weight, why not suggest this is a growing problem ( literally ! ) for both of you, and work on it together, as regards managing diet and exercise or gym plans ? Work on this FOR YOU, not for him, and don't let his rude suggestions make you reluctant to do what you need, anyway, to do for your own sake.
Maybe couples counsellin could sort out the dysfunctional aspects of this relationship - it's a bit pathetic that he lies round whining rather than getting up and doing something more useful.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-10-21

Re-visit whichever psychiatrist is helping you to manage your bipolar disorder, for a start ( and this is a condition which should be managed by psychiatrists and not GPs ).
As for weight, why not suggest this is a growing problem ( literally ! ) for both of you, and work on it together, as regards managing diet and exercise or gym plans ? Work on this FOR YOU, not for him, and don't let his rude suggestions make you reluctant to do what you need, anyway, to do for your own sake.
Maybe couples counsellin could sort out the dysfunctional aspects of this relationship - it's a bit pathetic that he lies round whining rather than getting up and doing something more useful.

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