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Posted by: STUPID!! | 2010/08/03

I was SOOOO Stupid!

Hello I''m 32 years old and I hav ebeen woring with my boss for 5 years!

This weekend was our sales conference and EVERYONE got SOOO drunk and then it happend - my boss and I had sex! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! We have not said a word to each other  we could not look each other in the eyes on Monday morning and I don''t know what to do! I AM MORTIFIED. He is married and has a kid and I am in a long term relationship - HELL I do not even like him and he does not even like me - HOW on earth did this happen! I AM SOOOOO Freaked out - what can I do?

Should I resign - I love my job? we got along very well (work wise) berore this happened what am I doing to do now.

I am going out of my mind.

Ps: NO we were so drunk - and we did not use protection - I am not on the pill and I am SOOOOOO freaked out.

I feel so guity - I am SO stupid! - I am not the type of person to do this! Ihave never been promiscues and I have never ever ever slept with a married man!
I am sooooooo upset and angry at myself.

I take ALLLLL my words I ever said to people who do this back - this is not a sneaky affiar that we had or anything - but WHAT do I do now! WHAT?????

what do I do? HELP ME PLEASE!


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The misspellings make it hard to be sure of the details of your story. I'm guessing ( and hoping ) that when you wrote that you've been "woring" with your boss, you meant "working", rather than leaving out an "h" ?
I think firms should be double taxed on all spending on "sales conferences" which provide alcohol for the staff, as so much mischief results.
There's no point in asking me WHY it happened - even you don't know, and you were there.
I don't see any point in resigning, and this will pass, though you may need to talk with each other some time soon to agree that it was a drunken foolishness and will not happen again and should not be allowed to spoil a working relationship that, well, worked.
Relax. panicking won't help at all, as you've probably discovered.
Calm down, take a day or so to stop shouting at yourself, and work out how best to talk with him, and sort out a good way to return to the status quo. And never ever get that drunk again !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

9
Our users say:
Posted by: Huh | 2010/08/05

Remind me again: Why are you apologising? You could get HIV test result today and get it the following day &  window period is there for a reason

Reply to Huh
Posted by: STUPID | 2010/08/05

SORRY About the misspelling - I was typing from my cellphone! I DEF" s meant WORKING!!! no whoreing..... Thank you so much for the advice.
I am only seeing him Tomorrow and I know that I have to speak to him - I know this will NEVER happen again - not ever - it''s not something he would want to keep on doing and MOST DEFINITELY not me either.

I took the morning after pill and I know he is HIV negative  I faxed blood test result for him and his wife to a company for life insurance policies about a month ago. so thank goodness I do not have to ask him about that - I think as a courtesy to him going to give him a test result of my negative status that I did for a discover vitality thing about 2 weeks ago, withouth asking him if he needs it. I thought I would just say the following to him.

Look this happened - it shouldn''t have but it did. I''m sorry that it happend and I have no intention of repeating this mistake ever. I also have no intention of making your life hell or telling a sole. I know you will also do the same for me. Let''s forget that it happend and move on. I thought you would like to know that I did take the morning after pill and that I am HIV negative and do not have any other STD''s.

What do you think?

I know he is JUST as upset - they way he is talking to me is so softly and to the point as if he does not know what to say to me. He is very uncomfortable - and I can hear the regret in his voice, he wafles when he speak to me (have not seen him since monday morning in JHB, only seeing him tomorrow morning here in CPT)

Reply to STUPID
Posted by: Dido | 2010/08/04

Maybe it happens every year to different subordinates, Some people attend -|- tail parties or banquet after the conference just for that reason

My advice: Go to a doctor and ask for,
Morning After Pill: Pregnancy
PEP: reduces the chance of you getting HIV/ AIDS

Reply to Dido
Posted by: Red | 2010/08/04

You make your bed, you sleep in it.

Reply to Red
Posted by: Liza | 2010/08/04

Stupid things happen. Sometimes I feel like pro at making stupid things happen. What I have learned from this however is that you cannot do anything to change what has happened, so why worry? Do what needs to be done tests-wise to ensure that there are no lingering effects. If there are - they can be sorted out as they come up. For now - ignore it while at the office and continue acting the same way towards your boss as before. This issue seems very big right now, but somehow they always shrink with time.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: sanet | 2010/08/04

Go back to work and see what happens.. If he looks guilty like you feel then leave it..
If not then talk to him. Don''t make it a FATAL ATTRACTION issue..

Reply to sanet
Posted by: Maria | 2010/08/03

Get yourself checked out for STD''s and pregnancy, and protect yourself and your partner until you know for a fact that you don''t have HIV or any other nasties.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: CHER | 2010/08/03

send him a mail about how you feel and run to a doctor for check up.

Reply to CHER
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/03

The misspellings make it hard to be sure of the details of your story. I'm guessing ( and hoping ) that when you wrote that you've been "woring" with your boss, you meant "working", rather than leaving out an "h" ?
I think firms should be double taxed on all spending on "sales conferences" which provide alcohol for the staff, as so much mischief results.
There's no point in asking me WHY it happened - even you don't know, and you were there.
I don't see any point in resigning, and this will pass, though you may need to talk with each other some time soon to agree that it was a drunken foolishness and will not happen again and should not be allowed to spoil a working relationship that, well, worked.
Relax. panicking won't help at all, as you've probably discovered.
Calm down, take a day or so to stop shouting at yourself, and work out how best to talk with him, and sort out a good way to return to the status quo. And never ever get that drunk again !

Reply to cybershrink

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