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Question
Posted by: Apple | 2010-02-10

I wanted to make her my wife - she left

I (28)don' t have the approprate words word to descreibe how I' m feeling.Its been a month since my girlfriend(26) of 8 years dropped a bomb on me that she was leaving because of unhappiness in a relationship. We have had our ups and downs like any r/ship but I didn' t see this one come. I had planned to marry her this year and she knew about it.
I' m so lost and miserable.I have tried to speak to her but nothing came of it. I can' t sleep, eat or do anythinthing.I have lot so much weight and interest in many things. I took a weeke leave from work because I was not coping but it hasn' t helped. We have a6 year old daughter so I constantly have to see them.This makes things even more difficult for me. I' m tired of feeling this way.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sometimes you don't see it coming because your partner keeps it secret and internal ; sometimes the fact that for whatever reason you don't see it looming when it is apparent to others, may be part of the problem.
But anyhow, you;re now probably in a situation of grief. THis is the horrible but normal reaction of normal people when they lose something dear to them - which can include the person and also what you had and what you had hoped for, in the relationship.
Don't allow yourself to feel too hopeless, as things will improve, improbable though that might seem. and you need to think of your daughter and her continuing need for you. Do seriously consider seeing a counsellor to help you to work through these feelings and concerns more fruitfully

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: jones | 2010-02-10

It is painful to be left by someone that u love, but time heals all pain. In love you donot fall out of love all at the same time, one falls out of it and prepares herself/himself at his or her pace and the other recieves the rejection with shock and surprise, hence the pain we go thru as we try to understand why. We develop this fear and belief in us that life is not worth living without this individual, how wrong this is and we know that . If someone doesnt want you anymore, its thats simple , just try all you can and move on with your life. If you were good to her , whatever her expectations are in the outside world she might get a rude awakening , and then it will be for her to deal with regret. I hv experienced this and in my situation i did state it in passing that most guys will promise you heaven because you are already committed and its nice when you play your games in darkness and you get so taken away that you think the other guy is the man and he will make your world a little heaven. In my case i dealt with the pain and accepted that she didnt love me anymore and two months down the line she is back apologising. I told her to take a hike and i had no love on standby.
Your situation might be different , but the bottom line is , take it like a man and move on , your life is more important than anything else.

Reply to jones
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-02-10

Sometimes you don't see it coming because your partner keeps it secret and internal ; sometimes the fact that for whatever reason you don't see it looming when it is apparent to others, may be part of the problem.
But anyhow, you;re now probably in a situation of grief. THis is the horrible but normal reaction of normal people when they lose something dear to them - which can include the person and also what you had and what you had hoped for, in the relationship.
Don't allow yourself to feel too hopeless, as things will improve, improbable though that might seem. and you need to think of your daughter and her continuing need for you. Do seriously consider seeing a counsellor to help you to work through these feelings and concerns more fruitfully

Reply to cybershrink

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