Our expert says:
It is NEVER, EVER, "better to take your own life". So, you have an unpleasant husband - why should you die because of that ? The death penalty has been abolished in SA, and never applied to being unhappy. So, he is brutal, abusive and a liar. Deal with THAT, not by removing yourself from life. Away from him, you could still find happiness in life.
Don't be looking for poisons, or other ways to harm yourself - and remember whatever way you might try to harm yourself, there's a really hiigh risk that you will survive, with all your problems intact, but yourself being damaged and less able to deal with them.
Call Lifeline ; arrange as soon as possible to see a shrink as an emergency - at the casalty of the nearest major hospital or state hospital / clinic, for instance, and get into treatment. Within months you could have solved problems you don't believe are solvable, and should be feeling a great deal better than this.
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