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Question
Posted by: Jabba | 2012/05/07

I WANT OUT

Hello,

I have been married for 6 years with 2 kids. i have met a guy that i really Love recently and things have been great between us. the reason i want out of my marriage is because there hasnt been any Love for the past 3 years now, my husband is a good father to our kids but he doesnt treat me well. Would i be so wrong to leave him since our kids adore him so much?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Time and extra challenges often result in couples losing the initial connection that initially brought them closer and attracted them to one another. Often individuals find the spark in someone outside a relationship and leaving the current one looks like the only and best option. It is however important to bear in mind that there are several factors to consider – you have children; you have a long term relationship that could possibly be strengthened with the assistance from a professional person; your long term relationship is loaded with reality while your “affair” has only the ideal to offer for now – the question is whether you are able to differentiate between love and lust. I would strongly suggest that you seek the professional assistance from a professional for either just yourself or even your marriage to explore what could possibly be done before you just file for a divorce – that would be the sensible road for you; your children; your husband as well as the lover.

For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: BONGINKOSI | 2012/07/12

now yu have to remember when you first met your current husband, the excitement you had. I am sure you never thought he could be a monster he is. now how sure are you that your new boyfriend will be perfect forever or you want to try and see? if he becomes worse than the current husband what are you going to do? who I am to judge but the fact is all men got that cunning smile when it comes to winning a women, don''t be the experiment my dear, deal with the matter accordingly, goodluck.

Reply to BONGINKOSI
Posted by: Kt | 2012/05/13

Most of first relation dont realy last. Its suprising u fall in love wth him, got married and gave him 2 kids so now u found someone u love, wats that or does that mean u have done all that with him out of love. Please try sort ur problem with u might the one who have problem. Ur now involved while still in a relationship.

Reply to Kt
Posted by: dilip | 2012/05/12

@jabba I can understand your problem..if you are on facebook send me request at facebook.com/dilip.Uluvar v can be friends

Reply to dilip
Posted by: Jabba | 2012/05/11

@Funo &  Peter, thanks guys........for the record, Adel is definitely not my husband, she is just mean.

Reply to Jabba
Posted by: Perter | 2012/05/11

@ Adel

Your previous statement said " What if I''''m the husband? She disclosed a lot of info here" 

I replied on that what is out of line?

You have just convince me me are a troll and are posting on this site for your own personal gain

I will not entertain any more comments from you

Reply to Perter
Posted by: funo | 2012/05/11

@Adel

That was totally out of line, she just wanted advice on what to do since she figured her marriage is not working out, if you are the husband then if i were you i''d try work things out because she did say that " your not treating her her well" .

Reply to funo
Posted by: Perter | 2012/05/10

@ Adel

That is also a possibility.

But what if you are a husband and you have read this and placed yourself into the husbands position and it is not your wife but another person. Thius is then another scenario. So we can go on and on

Basically what I am trying to say is lets forget the " Jerry Springer tactics"  here make your point (if you are the husband or suspect you are the husband), as you did state the husband has not stated their side.

If you are the husband I sincerly wish you and your wife all the best in sorting out your problems and once yiou have done that may your love for each other grow day by day

Reply to Perter
Posted by: Adel | 2012/05/09

What if I''m the husband? She disclosed a lot of info here.

Reply to Adel
Posted by: Perter | 2012/05/09

@ Adel

I just wonder if you are a troll with your comments or maybe you think you know Jabba, but either way your comments are way out of line

Jabba asked frs advcie and you climb in with your dirty shoes on and attack her.

There are three sides to any story and yes you are right we have not heard his side of the story but that does still not give you the right to attck her the way you did

Maybe just maybe your husband is having an affair and you think it is Jabba that is why you are attacking her think she is " the other woman"  or are you just upset with woman

Reply to Perter
Posted by: Adel | 2012/05/09

Whatever that is....Im not B***ng around hei....u r the one doing that. U dont deserve that man. Maybe you are the one with issues...cos we havent heard his side of the story.

Reply to Adel
Posted by: Jabba | 2012/05/09

@Adel, you''re a Witch with a ''B''

Reply to Jabba
Posted by: Adel | 2012/05/09

So you think its good to cheat?
Shame on you cheater. You deserve all that your husband is doing to you.

Reply to Adel
Posted by: Jabba | 2012/05/09

@Adel, please lay off, he''s done more than cheating and i stuck it out.......i dont recall askig for your opinion, anyway! for ur info, my kids are well taken care of, i dont compromise anything when it comes to them.

Reply to Jabba
Posted by: Adel | 2012/05/08

She is cheating on hubby.

Reply to Adel
Posted by: Understand! | 2012/05/08

Adel, i think you miss the train... Please think before you ink!!!!! Try and understand the situation where Jabba finds herself in. If u cant give advice keep your big mouth shut..

Reply to Understand!
Posted by: Adel | 2012/05/08

Wait wait dear. im not the one cheating here ok. WHat im saying is that sort out your relationship issue 1st before going into a relationship. If he finds out about your relationship, he''s gonna make that the escape goat. For God''s sake you have an 8month okd baby..should u be taking care of the baby?

Reply to Adel
Posted by: Jabba | 2012/05/08

@Adel, Excuse me! you just dont know what i''ve been through....besides like i said i have recently met this guy and that doesnt mean we are sexual active and should we decided to take our relationship to that level, we are both old enough and know the dangers of unprotected sex. If you dont have anything sincere to say, please reserve your comments.......

Reply to Jabba
Posted by: Adel | 2012/05/08

So you just resorted to cheating? Rather move away than cheating on him. Its because of people like you that we have HIV killing everyone.

Reply to Adel
Posted by: Lady | 2012/05/07

Thats sad ma dear. Your happiness should cum 1st. So many people are trapped in loveless relationships because of children. It will be sad for the babies especially the 8months old one, but life has to move go on. Otherwise you will wake up at 40years all alone, with him nowhere to be found.

Reply to Lady
Posted by: Jabba | 2012/05/07

@Sexologist, i have tried seeking Proffessional help since i thought i was the one with issues, but i still dont see a way forward for us, all the resentment, angrer and hatred make me hate him even more, but i will follow your advise and seek help for us as a couple cause i would hate to break up what my baies have with him.
@Lady, yes i have spoken to him several times, but he doesnt seem to se anything wrong, my babies are 5 years and 8 months old.

Reply to Jabba
Posted by: Lady | 2012/05/07

Hi Jabba. I understand your situation. Have you spoken to him about the way he''s treating you? If that the case then its ok to leave. How old are your kids?

Reply to Lady
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/05/07

Time and extra challenges often result in couples losing the initial connection that initially brought them closer and attracted them to one another. Often individuals find the spark in someone outside a relationship and leaving the current one looks like the only and best option. It is however important to bear in mind that there are several factors to consider – you have children; you have a long term relationship that could possibly be strengthened with the assistance from a professional person; your long term relationship is loaded with reality while your “affair” has only the ideal to offer for now – the question is whether you are able to differentiate between love and lust. I would strongly suggest that you seek the professional assistance from a professional for either just yourself or even your marriage to explore what could possibly be done before you just file for a divorce – that would be the sensible road for you; your children; your husband as well as the lover.

For further information please consult SASHA’s website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

Reply to Sexologist

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