Our expert says:
If getting married was important to you ( a perfectly reasonable attitude ) why did you choose to live with the guy for so many years, and have a child by him, before he made it very clear he would mary you and show such committment ?
FDrinking and smoking and going out to clubs regularly is both bad for your health and bad for the health of your child, and doesn't suggest you are mature enough yet to form an adult relationship. Maybe its reasonable for him to be cautious about making a long-term committment to you when you are apparently not prepared to make a long term committment to your child's best welfare, and to stopping expensive and self-damaging habits like drinking, smoking and clubbing
That you so rapidly found a new dude to sleep with isn't promising, either. And your ex had also rapidly found someone new and was already ready to marry her ? Presumably she doesn't drink, smoke or club ?
Sounds like you're working yourself up into an unnecessary state of distress about a situation you have done much to create. COnsider seeing a counsellor to clarify your options, their advantages and disadvantages, and to enable you to make wiser choices.
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