Posted by: Wendy | 2013-01-28

I try to walk away but I stumble

Hi, my fiance broke off the engagement two months ago and took me to hell and back. I was suicidal knowing there are other women and outside interference hence the reason for our breakup. Now he seems to realise that he has made a terrible mistake and wants me back. I just started sorting myself out and getting focussed on what is important to me right now when he reappeared trying to make ammends. Obviously the chemistry is not gone and I find myself responding to hugs and kisses. This is so bizarre and causing terrible internal conflict..I feel sorry for him now as his trying and going for therapy etc. I know what the answer is..dont see him..walk away.. why cant I?

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Our expert says:
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Never allow yourself to feel suicidal about the horibly bad behaviour of someone else - nobody capable of hurting you that much deserves to be allowed to make you feel that bad. Do NOT think of accepting him back - if he could do it once, he could do it again, and again. Presumably his other adventure didn't quite work out. Its entirely selfish of him to expect you to stop healing and switch back because this is handy for him. Why on earth are you allowing him close enough to use hugs and kisses to try to seduce you again ? There is no reason whatever to feel sorry for him. He says he's going for therap ? Excellent ! Lety him complete the therapy, and then approach you more humbly and less greedily, and may you can think about considering him again.
And stop feeding yourself negative instructions, suh as saying "I Can't Walk Away" - yes of course you can, but by insisting on telling yourself that you can't, you make it needlessly harder for yourself

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