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Question
Posted by: Sanet | 2012/03/09

I totally lost it!

Hi CS, I had a terrible day yesterday, first I had a fight with my sister over the email because I made arrangements in my busy travel schedule to stay in Bloemfontein after a Meeting and take care of the kids. I just said it woul be great if they can assist with half of my expenses for the weekend, kennels and airport parking. I got permission from my manager to work in Bloemfontein on Monday and fly to Cape Town the evening. She threw it back in my face and said they can''t afford the extra expense and they will ask the students that the kids think are so cool to babysit. I emailed back and said, a bit sarcastically that it''s wonderful that they have such great friends and it''s a pity the kids won''t see me. You won''t believe the terrible email I got back. Things like I want the kids to make me feel good about myself etc. further details are too hurtful to share. Then I was on my way to the psychologist and saw a storm coming. I rushed home to give the dogs their meds, because they are scared of thunder. Got home and most of the storm had passed. My backyard was flooded, the dogs heads were bearly sticking out. I had to struggle to get to the house from my car, the water was knee deep. The psychologists receptionist recons I can still make the appointment. What do I do with the dogs. Last time I left them in the house they ate up a whole couch. All my psychologist does is sends ans SMS and says: I believe you have a problem. After I smsd her and said I desperately needed to see her. She had the hour free, why did she not pick up the phone and try and arrange something for me? She was never like that. I sent her an email last night telling her how dissaponted I am in her and the Psychiatrist. And that I''m ending therapy. I feel so rejected by them. I think I''m hypomanic, because when I heard I couldn''t stay in Bloemfontein I booked a weekend in Hermanus. The company is paying for the flights and the guesthouse was really cheap on bookings.com. I spoke to my new Psychiatrist this morning, quite impressed he phoned me and he thinks it''s because I switched from Epitec to Lamitor, for 2 weeks now. Discovery only pays for Lamitor unlimited. Idiots! Now I have to take them on again. Just wanted to get this off my mind. Made an appointment with a new Psychologist for Tuesday. Hope it works out.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear of the awful day. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished ! And so a psychological storm ( well, with plenty of thunder and lightning from your sister ) and a meteorological one in the back garden.
However, don't over-react to the psychologist not thinking of doing something ingenious. You do need that support and it usually seems to be helpul, doesn't it ? They may have been less helpful than you'd want, but they didn't reject you, as you are now feeling tempted to reject them.
Anyhow, pleased to hear the new psychiatrist has made a good impression, and surprised you were able to find a new psychologist so soon.
A new sister is not so practical to arange. As a kid once said when asked to define Family, "They're people who come to dinner who aren't friends of yours".
Good luck with Discovery. I get the feeling some of these medical aids are not being well advised by the specialist advisors they ought to have

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Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/03/12

You state that u r hypomanic- it is not judgemental 2 say now is not the time to take responsibility 4 children but sensible. With your financial situation as it is it is perhaps best not to travel unless it is absolutely necessary.l have given u practical advice with the mosac teacher suggesting you get a courir company to collect your work.l am not judging you but giving you another viewpoint.

Nobdy s suggesting you cut ties with anyone but on an open forum you may get suggestions and opinions you may not like. Especially in a hypomanic state which perhaps makes you more sensitive than usual.l wish you well............

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Lilly | 2012/03/12

All i hear is coo-coo coo-coo lol

Reply to Lilly
Posted by: Sanet | 2012/03/11

My goodness, I was stable when we discussed the options.
Why always make out Bipolar people as the baddies? We are so difficult to cope with, can''t be trusted with children, families need emotional support...and on and on it goes. I seldom have an episode, then I rely on other support systems than my sister. So, she does not need counseling. I have looked after the kids often when I stayed in Bloemfontein. The small amount is small to you, but I was trying to get out of debt, before the hypomanic attack hit me due to change in meds. I always contribute when I visit. And the kids would expect to go to the movies etc.
I needed the full R 560, but compromised and said they can assist me with half. Why am I putting myself in debt to look after their kids.
And they don''t stay with me because her husband hates my dogs. You are acting as if I''m totally mental and should not be allowed near kids and visitors should be avoided. Im not psychotic, im irritable and the change back to Epitec will sort it out in a few days. Sometimes people just say things for the sake of saying something. Do you have Bipolar? How much do you know about it. I have been stable for years, but due to Discovery.... Read what CS has to say, and don''t judge me because of my diagnosis. You will cause that I break all ties with everyone, so that I don''t inconvenience them, would that make you feel better. My sister would be devastated, because even though we fight, we still love each other. And yes, the weekend away was impulsive, but that happens when im hypomanic. Please stop judging, it is not your place. If you can''t say something supportive or constructive , just keep quiet, but don''t be hurtful.

Reply to Sanet
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/03/11

As yr sister said with your bi polar condition you are probably not the best person to care for her kids - it is a big responsibility.

As for requesting R300 it is such a small amount was it really worth asking for?

As for staying in your house, they probably wanted to avoid causing you stress. BP causes drama over very small matters and people often avoid causing more drama by not getting involved more than is necessary............

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Sanet | 2012/03/11

Maria, I''m on the Executive Plan. They should be paying everything, but I''m on Topamax too and the drugs are in the same class, thus only R450 for both drugs.
Obvious- my sister can afford to spend money to go up to every concert in jhb and I felt they could contribute to my expenses a bit. I am hypomanic, thus I booked the trip for myself on my credit card. And in the end it was not about the money with my sister. I''m bipolar, and not good enough to look after her kids. You don''t know them like I do, they don''t do anything for free and for the first time in my life I said that if I need to take care of the kids for the weekend, then I''m going to need some support. Is R300 that much ? Considering my house in jhb is not good enough for them they go and stay in a guesthouse every time? I must be the worst person ever

Reply to Sanet
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/03/09

You are not well, why over complicate your life by looking after someone elses kids.

Anyway....
Your sister is right it is cheaper to employ locals than fund you.As you are now booking a guest house and paying for your dogs why did you not do it for free in the first place.?

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Maria | 2012/03/09

Sanet I''m so sorry you had such a terrible day. I hope your weekend goes better.

What Discovery plan are you on?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/09

Sorry to hear of the awful day. As they say, no good deed goes unpunished ! And so a psychological storm ( well, with plenty of thunder and lightning from your sister ) and a meteorological one in the back garden.
However, don't over-react to the psychologist not thinking of doing something ingenious. You do need that support and it usually seems to be helpul, doesn't it ? They may have been less helpful than you'd want, but they didn't reject you, as you are now feeling tempted to reject them.
Anyhow, pleased to hear the new psychiatrist has made a good impression, and surprised you were able to find a new psychologist so soon.
A new sister is not so practical to arange. As a kid once said when asked to define Family, "They're people who come to dinner who aren't friends of yours".
Good luck with Discovery. I get the feeling some of these medical aids are not being well advised by the specialist advisors they ought to have

Reply to cybershrink

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