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Question
Posted by: Angel | 2011/07/14

I think my Husbands Kids are being abused

Thank you for your response Expert. I think what you have said makes alot of sense and it is something that i have also thought about. My only crisis is that the reason we dont see them that often is that they have moved away about 2 years ago almost 400km away from us and have made it our cost and resposiblity to see the children, so that is why there are always excuses from her side, for us to just " rock up"  and take the chance of them not being there is a costly and long exersice, so we need to accept the times that she always has and excuse why they cannot come to us. I know i have gone a bit of track here, my question is that: do yo think we can take them to a Psychiatrist without her knowledge, to at least start some kind of process. The reason i ask is that i aksed to take them when they were younger and she refused that they go. My husbands son desperatly wants to be with his father and is alway in tears when he has to go home and his daughter has become so uncontrolable that we do not even force here to come anymore. She is in tears all the time, from the road home, through the whole weekend and the road back?? My husbands wife also has had another 2 children with her current husband who are now 3 and 5 years old.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Thanks for the further information, which makes things a bit clearer. It sounds as though your only access to the kids is when you travel 400 km and stay somewhere, and see them there - apparently you don't have any access with the kids visiting you at your home ? If the latter was possible,m of course it would be possible for their father to take them to a child psychologist for assessment. I don't see why a father can't take his kids to be assessed by a doctor or simila specialist if he is worried about them. But this would be harder to achieve if it had to be done while they were staying with their mother and only briefly in your company.
Maybe it would be best to start with consulting a lawyer, maybe one recommended by Childline or someone similarly interested in such issues. Then you could start a court case to ask for the father to have proper access, with the kids visiting him at his home, as frequently as can be afforded, and maybe to clarify issues of custody ( the court could be asked to decide whether the mother / step-father are appropriate for custody, and the COurt could be asked to send them for assessment to help decide this . If the son wants to be with his father, the court should take notice of that.

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Our users say:
Posted by: angel | 2011/07/14

My last sentence did not make too much sense. I meant to say my husband''s EX-Wife also has had another 2 children with her current husband who are now 3 and 5 years old. APOLOGIES

Reply to angel
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/14

Thanks for the further information, which makes things a bit clearer. It sounds as though your only access to the kids is when you travel 400 km and stay somewhere, and see them there - apparently you don't have any access with the kids visiting you at your home ? If the latter was possible,m of course it would be possible for their father to take them to a child psychologist for assessment. I don't see why a father can't take his kids to be assessed by a doctor or simila specialist if he is worried about them. But this would be harder to achieve if it had to be done while they were staying with their mother and only briefly in your company.
Maybe it would be best to start with consulting a lawyer, maybe one recommended by Childline or someone similarly interested in such issues. Then you could start a court case to ask for the father to have proper access, with the kids visiting him at his home, as frequently as can be afforded, and maybe to clarify issues of custody ( the court could be asked to decide whether the mother / step-father are appropriate for custody, and the COurt could be asked to send them for assessment to help decide this . If the son wants to be with his father, the court should take notice of that.

Reply to cybershrink

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