advertisement
Question
Posted by: Mantwa | 2012/10/05

I think I am a sucker for punishment

I got divorced because my exhusband was abusive. We had a daughter together.Got involved with another man two years later, saw that he is just not worth it, but because he loved me, I continued with the relationship.Just when I wanted to end things because I felt lonely yet being in a relationship. I fell pregnant. I wish I never did because that was the worst time of my life. Hated every breath I took that time.He cheated on me and blamed it on me and and and. So I eventually got the guts and ended the relationship. But when my baby was born, I fell inlove with her. I am a single mom of two. My kids are my priide and they make me happy.Then I met a guy after a while...just to keep myself busy as I was sad half-the-time.I see him but he has moved places.Now he calls and chats to me when he can.And he keeps saying I shouldnt worry...but I cant stop worrying. Now I feel lonely again and sad half the time. I am a very jolly person so people would never tell. I am sad sad sad and more sad that I cannot trust any man.Sad that I may lose this guy as well, because where he is, women never stop coming to his friends apartment. Things have happened infront of my eyes. i am trying to say maybe I should learn to let go of this guy but its hard because I have already developed feelings for this man. I feel like a slut moving from one man to the other but i refuse to be treated without respect.I have been told that my kindness has been misinterpreted as foolishness.So at this pointing time,I honestly feel like one. I just wanna give up and stop relationships.I have a plan on what I have to do, like finding a hobby, but these weired thoughts never stop coming. On how pathetic I am, bad, cant keep a man,useless and foolish.I am dying inside slowly...slow silent death...What can i do...

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Oh dear. That's an awful was to be feeling about yourself, though not a useful way. We all make mistakes in life ( I know that's a cliche, but nonetheless it's true and important ). Ultimately what matters most is whether we learn from our mistakes, and try in the future to at least make new mistakes. Repeating old mistakes is pointless and unpleasant.
OK, you've made some really bad choices of men to get involved with. It's better to be a bit lonely on your own, than not lonely but miserable with the wrong guy.
Maybe you place too much weight and hope on one single person, rather than working towards developing female and male Friends. Then there isn't too much hanging on any one relationship.
If you didn't cling to them so desperately, it'd be easier to let go when that is the best thing to do. Not all men are bad, not all women are good - and with only rare exceptions, men who cheat do so with a woman, who doesn't seem to have problems about that.
You're not pathetic or bad, and the men you haven't kept, weren't worth keeping

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/06

Oh dear. That's an awful was to be feeling about yourself, though not a useful way. We all make mistakes in life ( I know that's a cliche, but nonetheless it's true and important ). Ultimately what matters most is whether we learn from our mistakes, and try in the future to at least make new mistakes. Repeating old mistakes is pointless and unpleasant.
OK, you've made some really bad choices of men to get involved with. It's better to be a bit lonely on your own, than not lonely but miserable with the wrong guy.
Maybe you place too much weight and hope on one single person, rather than working towards developing female and male Friends. Then there isn't too much hanging on any one relationship.
If you didn't cling to them so desperately, it'd be easier to let go when that is the best thing to do. Not all men are bad, not all women are good - and with only rare exceptions, men who cheat do so with a woman, who doesn't seem to have problems about that.
You're not pathetic or bad, and the men you haven't kept, weren't worth keeping

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement