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Question
Posted by: helen | 2010/07/14

i still miss him!!!!!!!!!

i''m married he is married, but i always think about my him, i know there is no any chance for us to meet or fall in love again, but how do i forget him, his image is always in my thoughts , we sometimes see each other around town but have not said anything nor greeted each other so all this makes me to feel so lonely although i''m married, circumstances forced usnot to marry but now i miss him like hell

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This problem is really not involuntary - you CHOOSE to allow yourself to daydream about him, and to fantasize about him and how things might be in an imaginary world - and you CHOOSE not to rather work on enhancing your own marriage, via marriage counselling, for instance. You are probably more in love with your fantasies of what might have been ( and which very much might NOT have been had you actually maried him back then )

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Our users say:
Posted by: helio | 2010/07/14

Fantasy. There''s nothing as seductive and fascinating as wanting something we can''t have. It''s desire and it will captivate for as long as you let it.
Reality is that you both are married. Let it go. Will your mind and heart to do so and let it go.
It may take time and be a bit hard, but let it go.
It''s nice to day dream and fantasise sometimes but don''t let it occupy your life.
And in real life, what''s he really like? You don''t know. So don''t live in dreamy dream land and forget the real life around you, that you can make better if you focus on it.
All the best. You know you can do it.

Reply to helio
Posted by: Kristen | 2010/07/14

Dear Helen, I''m sorry to have to say this but you actually just love the idea of him and the fairy tale story that us women make up in our heads. He is''nt perfect for you like you think he is. He is''nt going to sweep you of your feet like you think he is and love you unconditionally these are things we make up in our heads. In reality he is just another human with flaws and irritating habits that you aren''t aware of. Read a few books and to make your own relationship work, make the time and make the investment in your husband. Good Luck
PS I have been here, I would think of this guy I was seeing in High School and dream of him constantly before I got married and was wondering if getting married was the right thing and doubting myself but this guy was just someone I created, I added on qualities and how he would appreciate everything I do and love me all the time. I was delusional life does not work like that.

Reply to Kristen
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/14

This problem is really not involuntary - you CHOOSE to allow yourself to daydream about him, and to fantasize about him and how things might be in an imaginary world - and you CHOOSE not to rather work on enhancing your own marriage, via marriage counselling, for instance. You are probably more in love with your fantasies of what might have been ( and which very much might NOT have been had you actually maried him back then )

Reply to cybershrink

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