advertisement
Question
Posted by: Liza | 2010/03/01

I see trouble on the horizon - and it''s getting very close very fast!

So my colleague and I moved in together. What wasn''t apparent before though, is that this woman is totally addicted to sleeping pills and tranquillizers, as well as using cocaine over weekends. She also drinks at least 2 glasses of wine every evening. We''re supposed to be driving to work together, but this morning at 07h00 she told me that I would have to make another plan to get to work, because she''s not coming to work since she''s ''sick''. I would also be sick on Mondays if I behaved like she does on a weekend. On Saturday afternoon she sends me an sms - I have to make another plan to fetch the last stuff from my old place since something ''came up''. Then I don''t hear a word from her for over 24 hours - and her son is with me at home and doesn''t know where she is or what she''s doing. Eventually at five she gets home, without a word she takes her son and goes to eat at her moms'' place since we don''t have food in the house. We were supposed to go food shopping together on Sunday morning... I don''t have a car - and the nearest bus stop is at least 2km away. Luckily my brother-in-law could give me a lift to work - on the back of his 125cc scooter too, so getting to work was quick and I got to work in time.

She''s already in trouble at work for taking so much sick leave. They''re already deducting from her annual leave since she''s used up all her available sick leave. Then she made a BIG mistake causing major drama for their teams'' client and has our CEO jumping up and down because of it. She has already received one written warning. This mistake might be so big that they could conceivably call her for a disciplinary hearing and fire her. When she was interviewed for the position, they specifically asked her whether she suffered from any mental illness. She said no - even though she''s on anti-depressants for depression and anxiety, as well as additional benzo''s to keep her ''calm'' during the day.

What should I do now however? She has paid her rent, but I don''t know for how much longer she will be able to keep on paying rent. If I tell the boss that she suffers from anxiety and depression, they might be more lenient and let her keep her job. But she''ll be very mad at me for telling. And I a have big skeleton in the closet about the past that she knows about. Something that I cannot afford to be known at work. These things are in the past, but if other people at work find out about this, I''ll need to find another job where people don''t know since it''s so shameful.

Now I''ve also found out why her son is such a brat. She gives him everything he wants instead of love. I haven''t seen her kiss or hug her son or to even just tell him that she loves him. All he gets from her is a ''Get what you want'' whenever we buy bread and milk.

Help - please - anyone?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I guess that's what we could call substance abuse ? Taking cocaine AND tranquillizers, is like putting sugar and salt in your coffee. Sounds like the room-mate from hell.
Maybe when she answered that question in the interview, she meant she doesn't SUFFER from any mental illness, but rather enjoys it ?
Leave it to her, at present, to reveal her problems to her boss. But it's highly irresponsible, and reduces the excuse value of her illness to almost zero, to be taking drugs and booze which would undermine any possible treatment of anxiety or depression.
Is it feasible to revise these flat-sharing plans, or, depending on who signs the lease, get a new room-mate ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Sam | 2010/03/01

Try and get someone to replace you, so that you can get out. Find out from her if she would mind if you got someone else to take over your side of the lease (and give her some lame reason, like a sick family member needs your help or something like that), and get the hell out! I see it now, that kid is going to become your problem, and you''ll never know where she is or what she''s up to.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Liza | 2010/03/01

The lease if for a year and both our names are on it. So I can''t kick her out and get a new roommate.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Maria | 2010/03/01

Get out as soon as you can. How long did you sign the lease for and in whose name is it?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/01

I guess that's what we could call substance abuse ? Taking cocaine AND tranquillizers, is like putting sugar and salt in your coffee. Sounds like the room-mate from hell.
Maybe when she answered that question in the interview, she meant she doesn't SUFFER from any mental illness, but rather enjoys it ?
Leave it to her, at present, to reveal her problems to her boss. But it's highly irresponsible, and reduces the excuse value of her illness to almost zero, to be taking drugs and booze which would undermine any possible treatment of anxiety or depression.
Is it feasible to revise these flat-sharing plans, or, depending on who signs the lease, get a new room-mate ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement