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Question
Posted by: Senior | 2011/07/27

I really need to see her

i am 42yrs now and since last year there is something that tells me that i need to see my first girlfriend that i met while i was still young at school.i havent see her for 25yrs.i am married and moved on but i feel like i need to see her just to see how she is doing.I was also her first boyfriend.Although itfs such a long time i know where i can find her.I want to know why i have this feeling.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why, indeed, this suddent curiosity ? Presumably there are many people that have been a part of your past, who you seem to have no ibnterest in looking up, so why her ? Are there new problems in your marriage ? I have very rarely heard of really good things coming from such treasure hunts

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Our users say:
Posted by: Caro | 2011/07/28

You are too kind and forgiving, Romany. Thanks!
Senior - I just received another text from ex - he is finding it hard to let go. So believe me, the little bit of curiosity you have now will take over your life once you are in contact with her. Tell your wife how you feel and that you want the feeling to pass. It will if you dont act on it. Just a little bit of encouragement from your ex will bind you to cotacting her again and again. My ex tried for 10 years because I allowed him to.
Make some dates with your wife for just the two of you - movies, coffee, a holiday. Security in a workable marriage is the best feeling.

Reply to Caro
Posted by: Romany | 2011/07/28

Great advice Caro.
Best advice always comes from those that have already made the mistake and experienced the hurt. While we are having " fun"  we seldom think of the consequences, don''t we?
Keep it up !!!!!

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Caro | 2011/07/28

Take it from my experience - dont do it. My old boyfriend tracked me down after 20 years - two spouses, two bonds, four children between us - and it spelled nothing but trouble. The old feelings will grow into soemthing bigger, the guilt will weigh you down (bet you''re not telling your wife), and an extra-maritial affair is downright tiring and ties you up in knots. No matter how much you think it wont happen, if she is just a little bit unhappy it will develop into more than you think. You have obviously not moved on - if the trouble between you and your wife is at all rectifiable - rather work on that.
How am I doing, Romany?

Reply to Caro
Posted by: Romany | 2011/07/28

It is just curiosity. There are reasons why you two did not end up together...recall them.
Let sleeping dogs lie....

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/28

Why, indeed, this suddent curiosity ? Presumably there are many people that have been a part of your past, who you seem to have no ibnterest in looking up, so why her ? Are there new problems in your marriage ? I have very rarely heard of really good things coming from such treasure hunts

Reply to cybershrink

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