Posted by: robbie | 2012-02-12


Dear Professor,

My name is Malan and I have been a regular on this form for many years. And as you wud remember we lost a few people along the way..

Whatever i am saying to u and your forum members in what I HAVE TO DO....Today I decided to STOP LYING ..I have been a compulsive liar for a very long time. I am married, have a small business) with a two year old kid. I have damaged my reputation with many people . My peoblem is that I cannot shut my big mouth. I am like always taking money from people and promising them stuff ..then i don''t deliver .. (I PAY THEM BACK) the money that I borrow is like borrowing from peter to pay paul....always getting myself into trouble. ..Now since I cannot deliver they get upset with me and don''t talk to me. I have really really hurt alot of people.

Especially my wife. I take full responsibilty in my actions. I just want to be a good dad to my son and a goo dhusband to my wife. Doc, I know that I am one of the most caring people around. i will giv a beggar my last rand....I am always doing good to people...yet my bad habits take over the good.

Doc, i have lied alot to people..maybe I feel like i am a con man or something..But today my wife started crying and it really hurt me inside....

I want to start my life again and stop " organising"  for people..knowing that I cannot produce. I want to work hard for my money, I want to go back and pay those people that I have taken money from...

Doc, please don''t think I am bad person..I just need to let u that I want to change....and YES I have paid people back that I have taken money from...I want to leave a good name with society...

Doc I was once an engineer, I lost everything in my life....yes I am wrong/ was wrong....

TodayI make this pledge that I will be free from lying and doing stupid things ) I am 35 yrs old) and I am taking my life back

Please advise


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A truly bad person wouldnt want to change ; so cogratulations on resolving to make a new start, being honest, etc. It will be worthwhile and i wont be easy. CBT counselling, which I so often recommend, is especially good at helping you change bad habits of behaviour and thought, and would be worth considering.
Keep us in the picture as you work on these brave changes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: D1L657 | 2012-02-13

Wow man, that is very brave of you. Just stay commited and never lose heart. You are gonna be judged and condemed by people whom you have caused pain so be prepared for that and dont try to convince them that you want to change because others have written you off. Stay strong and be good man, wise is the man who realise his past mistakes and desire to change. You are on track, its gonna be bumpy though but you will arrive safely. Much love and respect to you bro

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