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Question
Posted by: ABC | 2012/04/19

I need his attention

All that i need is his attention i need him to listen and understand me and it seems he is not willing to do that to such an extend that when i spoke to him about this he said "  SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT THIS?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

That may very well NOT be what you "need" ; it's what you WANT. The difference between what we want and what we actually need can be surprisinly wide. Now, you don't mention whether "he" is a friend, a lover, or a spouse. Wither way, your message is all about what you want, and doesn't mention what he might want or not want. A relationship isn't about making demands based on what we announce are our "needs", but on communicating effectively, understand each other's needs and wants, and trying to negotiate a reasonable compromise by which each gets most of what they want. If this is a relationship to which you both feel committed but confused, why not see a couples counsellor and see what might be sorted out ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/19

That may very well NOT be what you "need" ; it's what you WANT. The difference between what we want and what we actually need can be surprisinly wide. Now, you don't mention whether "he" is a friend, a lover, or a spouse. Wither way, your message is all about what you want, and doesn't mention what he might want or not want. A relationship isn't about making demands based on what we announce are our "needs", but on communicating effectively, understand each other's needs and wants, and trying to negotiate a reasonable compromise by which each gets most of what they want. If this is a relationship to which you both feel committed but confused, why not see a couples counsellor and see what might be sorted out ?

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