Our expert says:
From your description, though these experiences must be very frustrating, it's not you who's being dumb. Maybe she doesn't concentrate or is too busy to remember whether she has or hasn't mentioned these things before. Couldn't you interrupt her pleasantly when she mentions someone you don't know, and say: "Sorry to interrupt, but I don't know who X is ", and/or "Sorry, but you seem to be assuming we've already discused Y, and I can't remember us doing so -- what exactly is this about ?" Sounds like she's somewhat under stress. If she's not as organized right now as she might be, don't blame yourself, and indeed don't blame her, but understand that perhaps she feels better for these conversations, and she may not actually need you to understand it all or even to respond other than by listening
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