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Question
Posted by: Nix | 2010/06/02

i miss my son

my 15 yr old son moved in with his dad 2 days ago... i can''t work...all I think of is my boy. I miss him so much. How long will it take for me to be ok with teh fact that he is no longer living with me. I am so devastated. This feels worse than my divorce. i never dreamt that him moving in with his dad would be this painful. I understand that he is better there and he is at a stage that he needs his dad... it hurts so much.
Pls could you help me with advise on how to cope?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Obviously this could be upsetting. Its not quite clear from your message - has your ex gained custody such that the boy will remain with him permanently ? Or, in terms of custody, does the boy alternate time spent with each of you ? Or was this just something that you both, as parents, discussed and decided ?
Of course you will miss him, but if you are, as you seem to be, satisfied that he will be fine and happy with his dad, and better off in some ways, think about how much sadness is appropriate. There will be an element of getting used to him not being around each day, physically and emotionally, but one grows used to this - but each of us at our own pace.
Isn't the boy still to visit you and spend time with you ? Try to enjoy planning for the time you will still spend together, then.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/02

Obviously this could be upsetting. Its not quite clear from your message - has your ex gained custody such that the boy will remain with him permanently ? Or, in terms of custody, does the boy alternate time spent with each of you ? Or was this just something that you both, as parents, discussed and decided ?
Of course you will miss him, but if you are, as you seem to be, satisfied that he will be fine and happy with his dad, and better off in some ways, think about how much sadness is appropriate. There will be an element of getting used to him not being around each day, physically and emotionally, but one grows used to this - but each of us at our own pace.
Isn't the boy still to visit you and spend time with you ? Try to enjoy planning for the time you will still spend together, then.

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