Our expert says:
I just do not buy the "it just happened" excuse --- things like this don't just happen, like a rain shower that catches you unaware --- there have been years in which you knew exactly what you were doing, and chose to do so, and chose not to stop it.
If you both knew that first kiss was wrong, it was never " just one little innocent kiss". " We havent been able to stop since that day." just is not true --- you could, but you never seriously tried to stop. And apparently his "closest friends" know about all this, and sound like they approve and encourage it. YOu talk about how happy you make each other, and seem to have no feelings at all about the misery you are causing his wife, children, and even his mother. So all this is profoundly selfish and cruel.
If you have ever actually tried to end this, it was like an alcoholic who stops drinking for minutes before the next drink. ou say you're not poud of this, but your message does sound rather proud of it.
OK< you didn' ask to be criticised for what you revealed about yourself, but the criticism you have received was richly deserved and important for you --- you have been saling through this affair and ignoring how most ordinary people would criticise you, ifnoring how much your repeated choices and actions deserve criticism. It is profiundly unfair and dishonest to do something so hurtful to innocent other people, and insist that you should not be criticised for it. Wake up and smell the neuroses.
And never forget -- if he actually will leave his wife for you, he will be as ready to leave you for someone else.
And lady nina's succinct comment deserves to be carefully thought over.
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