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Question
Posted by: David | 2011/06/01

I love her

I am in love with my ex-girlfriend for many years. We broke up years ago because I was too intimidated by her as she is older. We both married other people but I am sorry. I married someone younger but have not really been happy. Now she has let me back into her life but I am afraid I will disappoint her and not live up to her expectations. She says she loves me but also still loves her husband. I compare my spouse to her all the time which is unfair but this has always been my dreamgirl and I can''t believe she has taken me back. We get along well and understand each other though she works a lot and goes away often. She is very understanding and often even tries to help me sort out my marital problems and encourages me to be a good dad. She advises me what to do on weekends with my kids when I miss her as she is often busy with her family. She''s given sense to my life again and I have learnt a lot of good parenting skills. I often wonder why she loves me but I am so happy to have her back in my life. I am just constantly concerned that I won''t be able to live up to her standards, though she says she loves me for who I am.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You are both married. See marriage counsellor ( separately, of course ) and sort out whatever isn't working in your different marriages, and if that is impossible to achieve, divorce. For both of you to cheat on blameless spouses is seedy.
Maybe she is being genuinely helpful in some ways - but she is also interfering in our marriage and may be encouraging a form of infidelity.

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9
Our users say:
Posted by: W | 2011/06/02

Yes David, be a better husband to your wife (be the change you want to see)...

Reply to W
Posted by: Phil | 2011/06/01

David  you sound very immature? Like a little boy infact? More like you looking for a mother figure?
Grow up man  maybe your wife will become the woman she needs to be if she has real man next to her?

And then  read my previous response again. Guys like you  need a good hidding..

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Mrs P | 2011/06/01

David, this is utter rubbish. Break it off with this woman right now. You obviously dont mean much to her as she is not willing to leave her husband. Do not be a fool here.

Love is a choice. Choose to love and cherish YOUR WIFE. Let this go and leave it in the past. You have children for heavens sake. Do you know what damage you are going to cause them? Well, I do, and believe me, it''s not pretty.

Choose to love your wife and cut it off with this woman. You have made your choice David, you chose your wife. Be a man and do the right thing.

Reply to Mrs P
Posted by: David | 2011/06/01

How can I leave her if she is all I ever wanted in a woman? She won''t leave her husband now and says I should stick with my marriage for a few more years. My wife does not know how to treat the children or me and I have tried to work it through but each time we are back at square one. I am happier as a father now that I know what kind of attention my children deserve. My oldest doesnt even like his mother though I never badmouth her. My " gf"  also says not to badmouth my wife. This I realised before C came back into my life. I have loved her for almost half my life. She is clever in so many ways except perhaps in having a relationship with me. She is fun and beautiful and smart as she was more than 20 years ago.

Reply to David
Posted by: Queen | 2011/06/01

Ya, David, the grass will always be greener on the other side. But there''s a water bill to be payed in order to keep that grass green. Are you willing to pay that price?

If you didn''t have marital problems, would still be interested in your ex?

Reply to Queen
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/01

Dabid
Bla Bla Bla....................
You are married !!!!
Nobody on this forum is going to tell you wjat you obviously WANT to hear.
Stop this immediately or do you want to break up 2 families?

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Phil | 2011/06/01

David  catch a f*cken wake up! Does the word married mean anything to you? If youre marriage is messed up  why the hell do you want to go where you should not? Mess up another marriage? Come on man  get a life! Like Mom says  karma is a bitch  so you will find out soon enough.
Well deserved too...

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Mom | 2011/06/01

David, from the sounds of it you still married?

Karma is a bitch bud, so watch yourself!!!

Reply to Mom
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/01

You are both married. See marriage counsellor ( separately, of course ) and sort out whatever isn't working in your different marriages, and if that is impossible to achieve, divorce. For both of you to cheat on blameless spouses is seedy.
Maybe she is being genuinely helpful in some ways - but she is also interfering in our marriage and may be encouraging a form of infidelity.

Reply to cybershrink

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