Posted by: Bad friend | 2009-02-16

I let my friend down

It was my friends wedding on Saturday and although we are not as close as we used to be anymore I still consider her a good friend - we have been friends since High school.<br><br>We go through patches where we dont talk for weeks (not because we are angry with each other but just because we are busy) and then we talk for ages on the phone. We dont see each other for months on end unless its important - our birthdays her daughters birthday, or when we are going through rough times. <br><br>We got quite close recently - talking daily because her wedding was coming up. I helped her find vendors and I introduced her to a friend of mine who is a dress maker and she made her wedding dress (Which she loved - I am so glad for that - she looked absolutely amazing!) Alot of people did not condone her marring this guy because she is only 26 and he is 46, so she wanted to invite only those she knew would be there to celebrate their love for each other and not just be there for free food and drinks - I was one of only 4 friends she invited and there was a total of only 30 people at the wedding. <br><br>I really wanted to be there for her but my fiancee and I ended up missing the ceremony altogether because we were late (He was working and then we got lost on the way). We arrived 20 mins late and by then the ceremony was over and photos were being taken. She knows we missed the ceremony and it looked as though we showed up only for the reception. And you know how bad that looked!<br><br>I felt so awful! I didnt even have the chance to talk to her properly because she was running around taking photos and organising things. The only brief moment I got to say anything to her was while they were taking group photos (when it was our tables turn) and she asked if we got lost or something but she didnt seem annoyed and that actually made me feel worse - I almost wanted her to be mad at me. I felt so bad that I didnt say all the things I should have - I didnt tell her how amazing she looked (and she did -I nearly burst with happiness for her). I was choked up the whole night holding back tears because I was so happy for her but afraid that if I said anything it wouldnt sound sincere because it would seem like I was trying to cover up for missing the ceremony.<br><br>I really feel like I let her down. I missed the most important moment of her life and I dont even know where to start to apologise. What can I do?? What can I say?

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Our expert says:
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YOu are, of course, not a bad friend at all. OK, getting lost, etc., was nobody's fault ( maybe she should have given better directions along with the invitations ? ) and nobdoy should have resented that at all. It should have been obvious that there is no way you would have chosen to miss the ceremony itself. OK, so you felt overwhelmed by the situation and unable to say all the pleasant things you wanted to say, on the day itself. No problem. Either call her, or write a letter ( or both ) explaining things exactly as you have here, and surely no good friend of yours would be anything but charmed and pleased to hear from you

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Our users say:
Posted by: oh please | 2009-02-16

you are being a big baby, seeking attention!

Reply to oh please

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