Our expert says:
Having worked for some time, unpaid, in rural Natal, I know something of the background you experienced.
OK, so you were mistaken in thinking the one new job would make you happy. I'm still not clear from both your messages what it is you DO really want to do, and what WOULD make you happy. Maybe some counselling would help you clarify that. If you don't know where you want to get to, you can't decide how to get there from here.
There does seem to be a real hint in the pleasure you seem to get from your small side-business. I agree that while some people have a real talent as entrepreneur ( and you may well be one of them ) even here in the forum I hear from so many people with problems in that regard, often the spouse of someone who gave up everything secure to engage in a entrepreneurial plan which failed utterly, and where it soon became clear they didn't have the talent or instincts they thought. It would have ben better had they done, as you have done, and started quietly on the side, in their spare time, to check out the market for their sort of plan, and their own relevant skills.
Interesting point you make about the "scarce skills" as a handicap - it's supposed to be such a great advantage, but obviously not so if people are able to use it to tie you down and stop you developing and extending your talents. I wonder how "not allowing transfers" and so on fits within labour law ? Or is that a time-limited restriction that was a condition of the bursary ?
Are part-time studies a possibility in the field that interests you ?
Maybe it's a good thing that you're impatient ( so many people are not impatient enough ) but sometimes the slower route is surer and ends up giving you more freedom than leaping into something with a higher risk of failure.
Is it possible to carry on at work to pay off debt and start a nest-egg, but keep on the siodeline business and part-time studies ?
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